Alice Connen and the Great Disney Fiasco
by idjit with a blue box
Summary: Alice returns for her second year, but with her favorite teacher gone, her best friend at a different school, and The Boy Who Lived starting she's not so sure Hogwarts will be the same. Finding new friends is made even harder when you try to talk to a kid about the newest Disney movie and they have no idea what you're talking about! She'll just have to fix that.
1. Preston takes on a Guy With Poor Fashion

**Author's Notes:** Kicking off Alice's second year at Hogwarts by starting with a look into her summer. I started writing this intending for it to be chapter one, but it ended up feeling a lot more like a prologue - it's not entirely vital to the rest of the story but it gives some nice insight into some of the changes in her life and sort-of-introduces-sort-of-continues a bit of mystery with the twins...  


* * *

The envelope simply wasn't cooperating, but Alice didn't have another stamp. She couldn't choose among all the awesome pictures they had taken at the Grand Canyon, so she was attempting to send all of them with her letter to Emily. That was proving an impossible task though. Well, it could be possible… with a bit of magic…

"No." Jason stated.

Alice gaped at him.

"What are you talking about? I didn't say anything!"

"You don't have to, I know you. You were thinking about using magic to fit all the pictures in the envelope. No. You'll get in trouble, it's forbidden," Jason explained.

"You know this is why people think twins are telepathic," Alice retorted.

"Well, maybe we are," Jason shrugged.

"No, if I had super powers I would know! And then I'd have to design my costume so I could achieve my dream of becoming a super hero!" Alice declared, striking a powerful pose. She wasn't quite sure if it was just the wind or some intuitive magic of hers that blew her hair back, but whatever it was it made the moment so much more awesome and dramatic. Jason meanwhile just quirked a brow at her.

"Alice. You're a witch. You have magic," he deadpanned.

"Yeah but it's not the same!" she whined. Jason stared at her. "It's not like I can fly or—"

"You can on a broom," Jason interrupted.

"I don't want to fly on a broom!" Alice retorted.

"Well, if you want to fly—"

"I don't want to fly!"

"But you just said you did!"

"No! I said I _could_ not that I _wanted_ to!"

Jason groaned.

"You know what, whatever. Do magic on the envelope. Get in trouble. I don't care," he said, waving off the topic.

Alice glared at the envelope. She _could_ do magic to make the pictures fit in the envelope… but she didn't want to get in trouble. I mean, breaking some rules at school was one thing but this was the magical government! They could take away her wand and then forget super heroism, she wouldn't even be a witch anymore!

She hated when Jason was right.

She grumbled as she pulled all the pictures out of the envelope and spread them out on the floor in front of her. Alice had been in some tough spots, but she couldn't think of any as trying as having to choose which pictures to send to Emily! I mean, sure, there were a few where Alice didn't look so hot in the picture, but those all had great shots of the canyon in the background!

"What about the one with your finger on the lens?" Jason offered, never looking up from his book. The nerd was already doing his summer homework. They still had like a month before they went back to school. Alice scoffed – at his nerd-ness and the suggestion about the picture. She practically thrust the aforementioned picture into his face.

"I have to send this one to Emily because I mentioned it in my letter. I mean come on! The bird attacked you right after I took the picture! Aunt K had to Stupefy the thing! How awesome is that?" Alice exclaimed and stuffed the picture into the envelope.

"Yeah, real awesome," Jason grumbled. "The claw marks have healed fine, thanks for asking."

"You're welcome," Alice replied. Jason scoffed. Alice narrowed her eyes at the pictures arranged before her and only just noticed Preston entering the room.

"What about this one?" he asked, kneeling down on the floor next to Alice and pointing to a picture. Alice picked it up and squinted at it. "There are a couple others like this one but they have better background shots," Preston offered.

Alice tilted her head and then glanced down at the similar photos. She then turned to give Preston an appraising look.

"You're right. Thanks, Preston," Alice beamed a smile at him. Preston sort of grimaced. Alice then turned over to Jason. "At least somebody's helpful!" she said pointedly. Jason just rolled his eyes.

Preston sat down in a chair to read one of his comics, but after a few minutes of Alice's annoying agonizing over photos he sighed and sat down on the floor to go through the pictures with her. He was a lot less unbearable this summer than last. His annoying friends didn't come around as much anymore and Jason had eavesdropped—

" _I was not eavesdropping! I was going down to get a juicebox—"_

" _A juicebox? What are you? Five?" Alice teased._

" _Says the girl who's already finished off half the pack!" Jason shot right back. Alice mumbled something about how they were perfectly portioned fruity drinks and she shouldn't be judged for enjoying them. Jason rolled his eyes and continued, "Anyway, I got to the door and heard Margo talking to Mrs. Hayworth and I didn't want to interrupt-"_

" _So you eavesdropped," Alice concluded matter-of-factly. Jason glared at her but finally just sighed._

" _Yes! Alright! I eavesdropped! Are you happy now?" he demanded._

" _No. If you're gonna spy on people at least have the decency to be honest about it."_

\- on Margo talking with a neighbor about how Preston hadn't had a very easy year at school. Turns out the bully was bullied. Mr. Wallace's old prep school managed to knock Preston down a few pegs and teach him how to treat people decently.

The twins also suspected that Margo had talked to him about them, giving him a more in-depth explanation about… well, what they were. This suspicion stemmed from how at the beginning of the summer he had seemed a bit frightened of them before apparently realizing that they weren't going to hex him for taking the last dinner roll. Since then the twins had gotten on rather well with Preston… not too well, mind, he was still pretty dull, but a less arrogant dull that might get frustrated when Alice continually beat him in sports but wouldn't have a hissy fit about it.

With Preston's help, Alice managed to trim down her selection of photos to a manageable size that actually fit in the envelope. Then, the letter didn't fit, so she had to get rid of a few more photos. All in all, it only took about half an hour – a considerable achievement seeing as how Jason had once seen her agonize over which six of her ten stuffed animals could fit on her shelf for an hour (she ended up reorganizing her entire bookshelf so that they could all fit on the same one—which took another hour).

Preston sighed and got up from his seat on the floor.

"Now that that's dealt with, I'll see you later," Preston said as he headed for the door.

"Uh! What, you're abandoning us?" Alice exclaimed in mock hurt. Preston rolled his eyes.

"I'm meeting Edward,"

"Ohhh, you're meeting Edward!" Alice complained, mock insulted. She turned to Jason. "He's meeting Edward!" She turned back to Preston. "Are we not good enough for you anymore?"

"Are we not as cool as Edward?" Jason joined in. Preston rolled his eyes.

"No. You're not," Preston retorted. Alice gasped in mock hurt while Preston went out into the hall.

"You cut deep, Preston!" Jason shouted after him.

"I thought we had something!" Alice exclaimed.

The twins heard the door slam shut in answer. They turned and just grinned at each other.

"You two, I swear," Margo smiled, shaking her head.

Alice and Jason jumped, startled to find Margo leaning against the doorway.

"Lose the guilty expressions," she laughed and Alice and Jason relaxed a bit. "I'm really glad you guys are starting to get along. Reminds me of how my brother and I teased each other," Margo said wistfully and went into the kitchen to start dinner.

Jason went back to his book and Alice closed up the envelope. No going back now. She stuck on the stamp and then set down the envelope. Her eyes were drawn to a picture that Preston and Jason had had to talk her out of including for ten straight minutes. She really liked that picture…

Alice picked it up and looked at it. She then glanced guiltily over at Jason before she set the picture down on top of the envelope, silently willing for it to just slip inside the envelope along with the others. Magically (bad um tss) it did, and most importantly the letter didn't burst. Alice paused, expecting a huge siren to go off any second and wizard cops to break down the door to arrest her for performing unauthorized magic outside of school. But no such thing happened. Not so much as a letter arrived to tell her off.

"Maybe they don't count wand-less magic. I mean that stuff is harder to control, it usually just happens whether you want it to or not," Alice thought to herself. She nodded. Her reasoning seemed pretty sound to her.

Jason looked over at her curiously and then scanned the scattered pictures that were left out of the letter. He looked back up at Alice, his eyes narrowed.

"Where's the picture of you pretending to push me into the Grand Canyon?" he asked suspiciously. Alice internally panicked but struggled to maintain an outward calm.

"I don't know what you mean," she said a bit too quickly as she gathered up all the leftover pictures, and thus effectively hiding from view which ones and how many they were. Jason looked down to the sealed envelope but then glared at her sternly.

"You used magic to put it in the envelope after it was sealed!" he accused. Alice scoffed.

"I did no such thing!"

"You are such a liar!" Jason retorted. Alice stood with her stack of pictures and the envelope.

"Even if you were right, nothing happened. I haven't been arrested, or my magic license revoked—

"We don't have licenses," Jason interrupted but Alice continued as if she didn't hear him.

"- or even gotten a warning letter. So I guess you were wrong about them detecting magic outside of school. Now if you'll excuse me I have a letter to mail!" Alice finished and rushed out of the living room before Jason inevitably realized that she had actually given herself away with that last bit about him being wrong.

Alice hurried out into the hall and turned to race up the stairs, but she caught something out of the corner of her eye. She stopped, and cautiously neared the window by the front door. She pressed herself against the wall, hopefully out of view.

"Jason!" she called.

Jason rolled his eyes and set down his book.

"I'm guessing you got the warning letter," he remarked a bit haughtily as he turned into the hallway. He paused upon seeing her hiding against the wall. Alice hastily gestured towards him to hide too. He glanced out the windows to see what Alice was hiding from. His eyes widened and he hastily hid on the other side.

Outside, across the street, stood a man wearing very strange clothes. He was in a yellow rain coat – strange as it was a bright sunny day – with a distinctly '70s style flowery button-up shirt, water shorts, and oxfords. This insane get-up indicated that he was one of three things: an impractical man with dreadful fashion sense, a crazy person, or a wizard in disguise. Considering their knowledge, the twins were betting on the latter. Plus, he was staring directly at the Wallace house.

"Who is he?" Jason whispered to Alice.

"How the hell would I know?" Alice shot back. Jason glanced out the window once more.

The man was glaring pointedly at their house, as if willing them to walk right out the front door. He also seemed to be waiting for something.

"What do you think he's doing? Is he here for us?" Jason asked, thinking out loud as he often did.

"I don't know. I hope not. He gives me the creeps," Alice remarked somberly.

Jason had to agree. It wasn't the get-up, that was laughable, and it wasn't necessarily his appearance, the guy looked pretty ordinary. It was his eyes. They stared intently, almost angrily, straight ahead. They were flat and dark and hard. His hands were worrying too. The knuckles were big and scarred like he was no stranger to fighting it out Muggle-style. And his fingers flinched every now and then, like he wanted to reach for something but couldn't… _not yet… he couldn't bring his wand out in public… not unless they showed themselves… not unless the opportunity arrived, then it wouldn't matter who saw because he would have them, he would have the twins, the ones they were searching for…_

Jason blinked. Those thoughts didn't seem like his… they seemed foreign in some way.

"He's waiting for us, he wants to take us," Alice stated nervously. Jason glanced at her curiously. Was she thinking the same thing he was?

Alice looked at him determinedly. Jason knew exactly what she was thinking.

"No." he stated firmly. Alice didn't heed him and stepped out from against the wall, moving to open the front door. Jason grabbed her hand to stop her. She glared up at him, but before either of them could do anything else they heard something strange.

"Oi! What are you doing? Shove off!" Preston bellowed at the man as he and his friend Edward walked down the street with hockey sticks. Alice and Jason watched in horror as Preston charged over towards the grim wizard. Of course Preston was foolish enough to take on a dark wizard!

Now Alice and Jason both reached for the door to go save Preston from what was inevitably an evil wizard prepared to kill their foster brother for his impertinence. They had just managed to open the door when they saw, shockingly, the man hastening off down the street. The twins gaped as Preston nodded smugly, having succeeded in guarding his territory. A faint crack in the distance confirmed to the twins that the man had just disapparated, but neither of the Muggle boys thought anything of it. Instead Preston turned to his friend, only to catch a glimpse of the twins standing in the open doorway.

"What are you two doing?" Preston hollered over at them, a bit irritated.

Jason was left flat-footed, but luckily Alice snapped right back.

"Oh, we were just gonna tell that guy to bugger off, but you beat us to it," she replied. "What are you guys doing?" she asked casually.

Preston held up the hockey sticks.

"We're gonna play," he answered as if that was obvious, which to be fair it kind of was. Edward nudged Preston and Preston sighed and rolled his eyes. "Do you want to join?" he asked reluctantly.

"Sure! Sounds like fun!" Alice exclaimed, dragging Jason along with her though he didn't remember asking to play.

* * *

 **AN:** Who's the creepy wizard standing outside their house? Wouldn't you like to know. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this even though it is sort of a short prelude into the sequel. I've got to admit, I'm much more excited for Alice's years from this point out - I always sort of saw first year as an outlier for her career at Hogwarts, and not just because it was her only year without Harry Potter at school. LEAVE REVIEWS! I love hearing from you guys, even if it's just like a running commentary of thoughts during the chapters.

With her best friend gone, Alice is gonna have to make some new ones this year... no problem, right? I mean, it's not like she's being hunted by an evil wizard seeking revenge and everlasting life... yeah, actually she'd probably rather take the evil wizard.


	2. A Salesman Nearly Hoodwinks Jason

**Author's Notes:** If you haven't noticed, I'm having a bit of fun with the chapter titles this go around, hope you do too.

* * *

In retrospect, maybe Alice should have started her summer homework earlier.

It had taken her about a month just to get over the injustice of actually having summer work, which was just ridiculous—

" _They already have nine months out of my year, now they want my summer too! Is it not enough for them?!"_

\- Then Aunt K took them to the Grand Canyon and so Alice was still buzzing over that for weeks that she couldn't possibly be expected to start schoolwork! She teased Jason mercilessly at starting his schoolwork "early" – now she was realizing that maybe two weeks before school started wasn't _that_ early… although it was considerably earlier than three days before they were supposed to get on the train.

Yeah, Alice was procrastinating. And not just her schoolwork either. She hadn't even gotten all her supplies yet! Basically, Alice did not want to think about school starting, which was strange considering her school was, you know, magical and all.

But she was trying to procrastinate returning because she wasn't sure it would be the same… she'd be in her second year, her favorite teacher had left, her best friend had left… yeah actually that was probably the main reason. Alice would basically have to start all over and make new friends. Sure she had the Weasley twins, but they weren't in her year so unless she wanted to be sitting alone every class she needed someone else.

"Alice," Margo called softly, poking her head in the cracked door. Alice barely turned towards her and grunted in acknowledgment as she furiously scribbled down her Potions essay—of course _Snape_ gave them a paper over summer, at least Flitwick's summer assignment was easy: practice the pronunciation of a few spells from their new spell book… of course she hadn't done it yet, she still needed to buy the book.

"Alice, dear, Jason has gotten quite unmanageable in his stress over not getting your school supplies. My bridge game was canceled so would you be able to go today?" Margo asked. Alice checked a sigh—instead screaming internally—and put on a polite smile.

"Of course," Alice replied.

"Great, well, do wash up and we can leave as soon as you're ready," Margo said and promptly left down the hall.

Alice glanced down at the ink smudged all over her arms and the sides of her hands. She had not doubt that there was also some on her face, probably in her hair too—yep, it was in her hair too, she discovered upon putting a hand to her hair and finding wet clumps that turned her fingers (the ones that weren't already covered in ink) black. Honestly, had wizards not discovered pencils?

After a quick shower Alice was de-inked and ready to go. She wasn't ready to deal with Jason's anxious ramblings or twitches the entire ride to Diagon Alley though. That reminded her, Aunt K had managed to get the Wallace's fireplace hooked up to the Floo Network, so all they needed was some powder and Alice could skip this aggravating step of getting stuck in traffic and having to listen to her twin bemoan that the book store was probably sold out by now. Alice was sick of reminding him that it was a magic book store that could probably get a new stock at the snap of the fingers.

By the time they finally pulled up to the Leaky Cauldron, Alice heaved a sigh of relief as she had been about ready to tear off Jason's continuously fidgeting fingers. Tom the barkeep greeted them but at Jason's insistence they skipped all but the pleasantries and went straight out back to the secret entrance of Diagon Alley. As the bricks opened up, Alice was reassured to discover that she was not the only magical procrastinator.

The streets were packed with families bustling around from shop to shop. Margo and the twins stepped onto the street and were quickly absorbed into the crowd. As Jason charged ahead towards the bookstore, Alice took a moment to take it all in, only to notice that people were a bit more excited than she remembered.

"I can't believe he's starting as soon as you're leaving, such poor luck!" a mother bemoaned to her son who rolled his eyes as they entered into the Apothecary.

"Did ye hear what Tom said? He actually met the lad!" an older man whistled to his wife.

"You'll be in the same year! Oh this is exciting! Try your best to get on well with him, you'll go a long way if you're friends with the Boy Who Lived!"

Alice paused upon hearing the last one. That title sounded familiar and for some reason she instantly thought of Triggs. Jason called to her in irritation as she stood stopped outside Flourish and Blotts. Alice shrugged, figuring she'd find out what all this was about eventually, and went inside to find her brother and Margo.

They didn't need near the books this year as they did last year, just _The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 2_ and _The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection_. They got two copies quickly and Alice was ready to head right back home only for Jason to charge off into the crowd again. Alice had no choice but to follow once more as Margo seemed to be on the same wavelength as Jason. It wasn't until she saw what store Jason was heading to that she finally got it.

The latest models of broomsticks were displayed in the windows of _Quality Quidditch Supplies_. A group of upcoming first-years were gawking at the window display, resentful of the fact that they couldn't bring one until next year. Alice smirked as she passed them into the store and they looked after her wishfully. All her smugness was faked of course, as she had no intention of getting a broom.

"Wow, when I last came here with my brother they were just coming out with the Nimbus 1000, now they're already onto 2000," Margo commented at all the banners and adverts for the latest and best broomstick model.

"Fine eye, m'lady! Yes the Nimbus 2000 is the newest Nimbus model and the fastest broom in the world!" a man in a garish orange outfit with an unnerving smile and a nametag on his shirt reading 'Eugene.' Alice groaned and scowled. Turns out the wizarding world had their own version of the scum of the earth: salesmen.

"Too expensive. What about this one?" Jason asked, pointing at a box labeled "Cleansweep Seven." Eugene practically ran over to Jason, grinning like the Joker.

"Ah yes, a fine broomstick. The latest in the Cleansweep series though it did come out several years ago. It has been recently outdone by the newest Nimbus 2000 as well as the Comet 260," Eugene prattled, urging Jason's attention to the more expensive model. Alice was disappointed to see Jason falling for it. "It can go from nought to fifty in ten seconds and can reach speeds up to 100 miles per hour!" Eugene exclaimed excitedly, bringing over a display model. "The handle is made of oak and has a lovely finish that provides a nice smooth grip."

"Oh please," Alice muttered. Only they heard her. Eugene now zeroed in on a new target. He grinned his manic grin at her now.

"Not taken in, miss? Ah, I see, you're a tough sell! Well, I'm great at tough sells! What are you looking for dear and I'll find you the perfect broom!"

"Oh, no, I'm not getting a broom," Alice raised her hands to ward off further pushing. It didn't work and Eugene danced around her pulling out all kinds of different broomsticks.

"Not a quidditch player, eh? Well, no worries, you'll still want a broom for transportation. Going long distances? The Oakshafts are designed for endurance flying! Not too worried about speed but need to reach great heights? The Moontrimmer is the best in the business! Travelling with multiple people? The Bluebottle has multiple seating and can even be outfitted with an Anti-Burglar alarm for only a few added sickles!" Eugene kept rambling on and piling boxes up in front of her.

Margo looked at Alice worriedly and then set her jaw, ready to charge in and set this salesman straight. But before she could, Alice caught her gaze. Hopefully Jason was right about this whole telepathy thing, because she really needed Margo to get the message, but just to be safe she mouthed it too: "Buy the Cleansweep now! While he's distracted!"

Whether it was the mental message or Margo was good at reading lips, she got it and urged Jason to grab the Cleansweep Seven and the two hurried over to the register. There were two people ahead of them, but Alice figured she could hold him off long enough. Eugene began showing Alice the Duster and now there was only one person ahead of Margo and Jason in line.

"Uh, what has the most comfortable seat?" Alice asked Eugene, forcing him to go off for another broom while Margo and Jason got to the counter and hastily counted out the proper amount of coins.

"No one can really agree on the most comfortable, but it always comes down between these two: the Jetstream First Class or the CloudCaper!" Eugene returned, only to find Alice had disappeared.

"Whew!" Alice sighed, wiping her brow as she, Margo, and Jason headed down the street. "That was a close call!"

"Thanks for that, sis," Jason said. "You know I always attract salespeople."

"That's because they smell your weakness. You have to be firm and dismissive or they'll lead you around like a show dog!" Alice replied. "All that distracting got me worked up, now I'm hungry. Who's up for ice cream?"

Let's be honest, that was Alice's primary goal in going to Diagon Alley. Sure, she needed her school books, but if she was gonna take time away from her unfinished Potions essay, then gosh darn it she was gonna get some ice cream at Florean Fortescue's! Admittedly, Alice had been disappointed to learn that there was no magical ice cream, but that simply proved that ice cream needed no enhancement. As Alice sat with her brother and Margo, eating her chocolate caramel swirl ice cream with Fizzing Whizzbee bits on top – all right, so there was a _little_ bit of magic added to ice cream – she once more noticed all the buzz about this "Boy Who Lived."

"What's all that about?" Alice asked, nodding over to the couple raving about it. Jason looked at her like she'd lost her mind.

"You honestly don't remember? The Boy Who Lived! Harry Potter! The only person in existence known to have survived the Killing Curse! A survival which subsequently banished the greatest dark wizard the magical world has seen in decades! For goodness sake, Triggs talked about it the first day of class!" Jason practically ranted.

"Oh well, first day, you never pay attention to first day stuff, it's never on the exam," Alice brushed it off. Jason gaped at her. "But that's cool," Alice continued nonchalantly as if this wasn't the biggest news in the wizarding world. "So he's gonna be at school with us this year. Hope he's not a jerk, hate for all the fame to have gone to his head and him show up and be like a Slytherin or something," Alice commented disapprovingly.

"I don't know, from the reaction I'm thinking he wasn't raised in the wizarding world, otherwise we might have seen him around, at least in the news," Jason explained.

"Well, yeah, if you read the news," Alice muttered under her breath. She had thought she was too quiet for Jason to hear her but of course he did.

"I read the news, both Muggle and magical," Jason said sternly. Alice made a face at him and threw a Fizzing Whizzbee chunk at him (but then quickly retrieved it because Alice was not one to waste food, especially candy).

The group finished their ice cream but continued to sit outside, just talking and laughing – it turned out Margo was very good at jokes and always saved them up for Alice and Jason as her husband and son often didn't understand them. She was right in the middle of the set-up for a centaur joke when her smile vanished. Alice and Jason immediately sensed her tension and looked around for what was wrong but didn't notice anything out of the ordinary.

"Alice, Jason, get your things, let's go!" Margo ordered under her breath, her eyes never leaving a spot on the street which, try as they might, the twins couldn't see the object of with all the people milling about. "I said now!" Margo snapped fearfully. The twins rushed to grab their trash and toss it and followed Margo as she ushered them down the street.

"What's wrong?" Alice asked nervously but Margo shushed her and walked determinedly on, a hand firmly gripping each of the twins' shoulder.

They only made one stop and that was at the Owl Post where Margo claimed she needed to send a letter to someone. All this nervousness and secrecy meant that _of course_ the twins eavesdropped and discovered that Margo was sending an "urgent message to Headmaster Dumbledore."

"Why does she need to contact Dumbledore?" Alice asked her brother in an undertone.

"I don't know, but something made her nervous. Do you think she saw someone or something that's dangerous? But then wouldn't she contact the Ministry?" Jason wondered out loud.

"I honestly have no clue, Jason. But for some reason I think it has something to do with us," Alice replied. The twins looked at each other in solemn understanding.

"Do you think—" Jason began, but before he could finish Margo bustled back over to them.

"All right, that's taken care of, now let's head home!" she said, much more cheerily, but the twins noticed the twitch of her cheeks at the strain of her forced smile. "Let's get you back so you can finish your school work!"

"Oh, yeah, great," Alice grumbled. To be honest, she'd rather face whatever this mystery threat was then return to her mess of a Potions essay.

* * *

 **AN:** The Connens are kind of a magnet for trouble if you haven't noticed: mom disappears #notdead, dad and uncle die in plane crash #actuallydead, Alice and Jason taken from U.S., Aunt K has crazy job, creepy stalkers outside their house, and Alice befriending the Weasley twins (jk) (but not really when you think about it)

yeah, it's kind of short, I apologize, but the next chapter's more my usual length and it has the Weasley twins, so, you're welcome.

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW I really love hearing from you guys!


	3. We Got Potter! (Suck it Slytherin)

**Author's Notes:** I just want to start off saying that Alice's views on other students and houses do not necessarily reflect my views (except on Cormac McLaggen, I hate that guy)

All right, now we can start.

* * *

The train whistle sounded, echoing Alice's internal screaming as she and Jason practically ran to get onto the train. Just as they got on board and shut the door, the train lurched into motion. They didn't have time to find a compartment and so just waved goodbye to Mrs. Wallace through the door window, and when that wasn't really working, just threw the door back open and popped their heads and hands out to wave properly. Of course then they recognized her stern expression and hand gestures telling them to "Shut the door! That's dangerous! Don't hang out of a moving train! Honestly, you two!" and shut it.

The train pulled out of the station and Alice and Jason set to wandering down the halls to find a compartment that was either empty or filled with their friends. They quickly found the Weasley twins in a compartment, but Jason continued on to find his _Ravenclaw friends_ (especially a certain Ravenclaw friend named Cho Chang with whom he had been sending letters back and forth all summer). Alice was welcomed warmly by the twins—which of course meant that upon entrance she was ambushed with silly string and an air horn blowing in her ear.

"I see you still have your winnings," Alice grumbled, but grinning despite her bitterness over losing the prank war the previous year.

"Yes, and our family thanks you for them!" George grinned.

"Especially Percy!" Fred laughed.

Alice rolled her eyes and valiantly tried to maneuver her trunk into the compartment with minimal success. Upon seeing Alice struggle with her heavy trunk, the twins leaped over to help, though they weren't faring much better.

"Bloody hell, Alice! Did you pack your trunk with bricks?" Fred groaned.

"It's mostly clothes!" she retorted defensively as they unsteadily raised the trunk towards the overhead luggage rack.

"How could anything small enough to fit you be so heavy?" George complained, his face turning red.

"I wasn't very well prepared for the winter last year, so most of it's just filled with winter coats and scarves and sweaters," Alice explained through gritted teeth.

The three of them finally managed to get it on the overhead luggage rack, but understandably took a moment to catch their breath. They collapsed onto the seats and managed to return their breathing to semi-normal before catching sight of each other— red-faced and sweating—and burst out into laughter. Fred pulled the silly string back out of his jacket and sprayed it at Alice, who in return took all of the silly string and threw it right back at the twins.

They were just launching into a full-scale silly string war when the compartment door slid open to reveal a lanky, freckled red-head that had to be related to the Weasley twins. He poked his head in nervously and drew the attention of the compartment.

"Er, is there any room in here?" the boy asked Fred and George hesitantly.

"No, Ron. Only third-years allowed in here!" Fred chuckled. Ron instantly bristled and pointed to Alice.

"But she's just a second-year!" he protested. The twins immediately came to Alice's defense.

"Alice is the exception!" George exclaimed.

"You've insulted one of our own! Now you definitely can't stay in here!" Fred announced and got up to shoo his younger brother off and close the door behind him.

"That was a bit rude," Alice commented.

"Yeah, he can be a real git!" George replied.

"I was talking about you two!" Alice teased, but the twins brushed it (and some silly string in their hair) off.

"Well, Lee and the girls are down farther, we were gonna head that way," Fred left the statement open ended, and if that wasn't enough to indicate that it was an offer for her to join them, then his dramatically quirked brow drove the point home.

"All right, let's go!" Alice grinned and the three set off out of the compartment.

"Hey, did we tell you? We saw Harry Potter in the station!" Fred commented as they worked their way from the back of the train. It took a moment for Alice to recall who this was, and when she remembered she simply raised her brows in polite curiosity.

"Oh?" she asked.

"Yeah, helped him with his trunk," George continued.

"That's why we had difficulty with yours, we had already been doing some heavy lifting," Fred explained conspiratorially to Alice.

"Sure," Alice smirked with heavy sarcasm. Fred scoffed at her in mock hurt but his attention was diverted as George stopped at a compartment. Alice and Fred hastened back as George threw open the door to a compartment where two boys were sitting. One was Ron, their youngest brother, but Alice didn't know the other one. He had messy black hair and round glasses and looked too young to be going to Hogwarts but that was probably due to the clothes he was wearing which swallowed him up. They were far too big for him and made it look like he was a little kid playing dress up.

"Hey, Ron." George greeted casually. "Listen, we're going down the middle of the train – Lee Jordan's got a giant tarantula down there."

Alice didn't hear Ron's mumbled reply as she flinched and stared at the twins accusingly.

"He's got a _what now_?" she demanded angrily, shoving in between them.

"I told you not to mention it to her," Fred scolded in an undertone to George who looked a tad bit guilty. Ron and Harry were looking a bit awkward so Fred returned the conversation to them.

"Harry, did we introduce ourselves? Fred and George Weasley. This is our friend Alice," Fred pointed to Alice who raised a hand. "And this is Ron, our brother," he nodded to Ron, sitting across from the dark haired boy that must be Harry Potter. In all honesty, he didn't look like much and Alice didn't see why everyone was so excited about him starting school. "See you later, then."

"Bye," both boys said and the twins slid the compartment door shut and continued on with Alice clipping their heels.

"Correct me if I'm wrong—and please say that I'm wrong—but did you just say that Lee has a giant spider?" Alice demanded a bit hysterically.

"Tarantula actually," Fred clarified.

"A tarantula is a spider," Alice snapped.

"We weren't going to tell you," George admitted.

"But _someone_ had to let it slip!" Fred swatted George upside the head.

"Ow! Sorry," George replied meekly to Alice before turning to his brother to return the swat.

"Listen, we'll go in first, see it, then make him put it away and then bring you in. How's that?" Fred said with one of his rare mischief-less grins. Alice wasn't completely buying it but she shrugged.

It didn't take them too long to find Lee's compartment: there was a line queued up outside of it. That wasn't a problem though as the twins and Alice just shoved their way through.

"Excuse us! Legends coming through!" Fred announced over the noise as they cut in front of about twenty students who grumbled but didn't otherwise protest: no one wanted to volunteer for these three to try out a prank on them. They managed to get to the compartment door, but this was where Alice stopped.

"We'll let you know when the coast is clear," Fred said. Alice nodded and the twins ducked inside.

"Came to see the tarantula?" Cormac asked Alice. Maybe she was biased but it seemed like everything that came out of his mouth was coated in slime. Alice tried not to blanch at the mention of the creature but gave McLaggen her haughtiest look.

"No, I came to see my friends," she replied with just a bit of sass to sharpen her tone.

The two glared at each other before Cormac got shoved from behind. He turned around angrily but only rolled his eyes as Cole, with Thomas in a headlock, merely grinned and shrugged as they bumped into people each time Thomas struggled. Alice chuckled and Cole released his friend who hastily tried to smooth his hair which had gotten ruffled in the rough housing.

George popped back out of the compartment door and turned to address the line.

"All right, everyone! Viewing hours have ended!" he hollered. There were grumblings and complaints but George just held up his hands. "There will be another special viewing when we reach the station, where Lee will set up on the platform. You can all see it then!"

Students grumbled as they turned to wander back to their compartments and George turned to Alice.

"Come on in!" he grinned and she followed him into the compartment.

She was greeted by a loud "Alice!" from all assembled: Lee Jordan, Alicia Spinnet, Angelina Johnson, and Fred. The girls made a space for her on their side and George shut the compartment door behind them.

Alice seemed to fall effortlessly right back in with the group so that after only a few moments they were all teary eyed from laughter. Alice felt relieved that some things remained the same while terrified and anxious at having to eventually face that she didn't have a friend in her year anymore. Ah well, she'd deal with it when the issue presented itself. For now she would enjoy hanging out with the third-years.

At least, she was enjoying it, until Fred directed the conversation towards a topic Alice didn't really care for.

"So, Quidditch season will be starting back soon," he announced casually, but his pointed look to Alice undermined his nonchalant tone. Alice pointedly ignored him.

"Yeah, and second-years can try out. We'll be needing a new Seeker since Llewyn is rubbish," Angelina tacked on, also turning to look directly at Alice. Alice avoided her gaze as well.

"Wood can put together a proper team this year, instead of being blind-sided by a player leaving mid-season," Lee Jordan added and Alice was finding it increasingly difficult to find somewhere to look.

After a moment of everyone staring at her expectantly and Alice craning her neck uncomfortably to look at the ceiling, she sighed.

"I'm not trying out for Quidditch!" she exclaimed. They all groaned and scoffed.

"You say that now," Alicia said.

"But when we're losing because Llewyn can't catch a cold," George began.

"You'll be begging to join to help out your own house!" Fred finished.

"Or I will disappointedly accept that our Seeker is awful and just watch for the fights that inevitably break out with Slytherin," Alice shrugged. The others groaned even more exaggeratedly. "Come on, guys, I'm sure there will be other Gryffindors eager to try out, and who knows some of them may be really talented and help us win."

"Now you're just insulting us," George scoffed.

"You're a Connen _and_ an Ackers! You have Quidditch blood running through those veins!" Lee Jordan bemoaned.

"Actually, it's AB positive blood running through these veins," Alice retorted with a smirk. The Weasley twins grinned, but were quickly cowed at a vicious glare from Lee. Alice held up her hands. "Listen, guys. The Ackers and Connen families never should have merged—both have long histories of immense talents that combined into one person could be disastrous for the world at large! My parents were lucky in having twins, so that their great skills were divided between us instead of all going into one person who would then be unstoppable!" Alice explained solemnly. The compartment actually quieted as they wondered if there was something they didn't know about Alice's heritage; there were stories of powerful families with special talents and considering Alice's mom was a mystery and her father was from the States, it was likely that they could have such talents. They held their breath as Alice continued on.

"Jason got the Quidditch and intelligence genes while I got the mischief and courage genes. Honestly, if someone with Jason's intelligence and my knack for mischief existed, this world would be screwed!" Alice finished, grinning. The others booed her and threw pillows, cards, streamers, whatever they could get their hands on really, at her.

Alice laughed and batted away the projectiles. Eventually they ran out of things to throw, giving Alice time to remember an earlier question.

"Hey, how come your brother knew I was a second-year?" Alice asked the twins.

"What? When?" Fred asked.

"When he tried to sit with us earlier. He knew I wasn't a third-year," Alice explained.

"Oh, we told him," George shrugged.

"Not then!" Alice retorted.

"No, over break," Fred clarified.

Alice smiled a sweetly fake smile.

"Aww! You told your family about me? I'm touched!" she exclaimed sarcastically. The twins rolled their eyes.

"Yeah, we told 'em about this upstart little first-year trying to edge in on our trouble making!" Fred retorted.

"They knew the prizes came from somewhere," George added with a smirk and blew the air horn again. The entire compartment winced at the blaring noise, which of course just made George grin and prepare to blow it again but Angelina's hand whipped out and snatched it from him.

"Now that that's taken care of, did anyone actually see Harry Potter? He's starting this year," Angelina asked while she warded off George who was trying to retrieve the air horn from behind her back.

"Oh, yeah, he was having trouble getting his luggage onto the train, so we helped him out," Fred answered smugly.

"The Boy Who Lived can't even get his luggage on the train," Alice grumbled under her breath but the others still heard her.

"Neither could you!" George pointed out with a grin. Alice stopped him with a look and a raised finger.

"I was able to get my luggage on the train! I just couldn't get it up onto the luggage rack," Alice clarified smugly. "In all honesty, this Potter kid didn't look super impressive, kind of nerdy-looking."

The others gaped at her in shock. Alice raised her hands defensively.

"I'm just saying, I was expecting a bit more from the only person to have survived the killing curse," Alice remarked.

"Well, he is only eleven," Alicia remarked.

"And he hasn't been raised in the Wizarding World," Alice said thoughtfully, recalling her brother's comment from a few days earlier. "At least, that's what my brother thinks. Otherwise you all probably would have heard about him growing up, instead of just now when he's coming to school."

"That would make sense," Angelina muttered.

Any further discussion of Harry Potter's childhood was postponed with the arrival of the candy trolley. There was a quick flurry of activity as everyone threw their money and called out their orders. Somehow Alice was placed in charge of the exchange and she awkwardly fumbled with the coins that overflowed from her tiny cupped hands. The candy lady looked on sympathetically though and helped sort out the coins and treats. The candy began piling up in Alice's arms so she just set to chucking it at people—of course they all then had to sort out what went to who as Alice had just thrown them in at random not being able to distinguish the simultaneous shouting voices.

"On second thought, if that's how you perform in a high stress environment, maybe we don't want you on the Quidditch team," Lee Jordan chuckled as they all began tearing into their sweets.

"Oh, shut up!" Alice snapped and threw a Bertie Bott's every flavor bean at him. It hit him in the nose before landing in his lap. Lee then picked it up, sniffed it, and popped it in his mouth. After a moment of chewing he grinned.

"Oy! Caramel! Thanks, Alice!" he exclaimed.

"No! I thought it was earwax! That was probably the only good flavor in there!" Alice gasped, dismayed.

* * *

They were pulling into Hogsmeade station before they knew it. Lee hastened out ahead of everyone to set up with his tarantula while Alice and the twins headed off back to the compartment where they had stashed their luggage. One would think that getting her trunk down from the overhead rack would be easier—gravity and all—but it was even more dangerous. Fred nearly got knocked unconscious as it slipped from their hands and would have landed on his head had George and Alice not caught it.

"Never again! You can handle your own bloody trunk from now on!" Fred swore, but in the next breath he helped her drop it down onto the platform. As luck would have it, they dropped it right in front of Cormac, making him hastily stop to avoid tumbling over the trunk. He glared at Alice as she hopped down from the train in front of him.

"Connen," he sneered.

"McLaggen," Alice spat.

Fred looked on in amused silence as Cormac brushed past her with a disdainful look. Fred hopped down onto the platform beside her and chuckled.

"Starting your second year strong with the birth of an enmity," he grinned.

"Cormac's a dumbass," Alice rolled her eyes.

"Oy! Maybe your mum said the very same thing about Triggs in her time," George pointed out as he hopped down behind them.

"No, Triggs was in Ravenclaw. My mom would have called him pretentious. Cormac couldn't survive in Ravenclaw because he's a dumbass, pay attention," Alice snapped playfully.

Alice followed along after the twins as they headed off the platform and towards a road, falling into line with the other students queued up to get into carriages. Alice did a double-take as a carriage pulled out and rolled down the street, pulled by a nearly-skeletal horse with bat wings.

"What are those things?" she asked curiously.

"What?" George asked, turning to look where she was looking. His gaze never seemed to land on anything and Alice tilted her head to look up at him.

"What do you mean _what_? Those Tim Burton horses pulling the carriages!" Alice clarified.

"Tim who? What are you talking about? Nothing pulls the carriages," Fred looked at her weirdly.

Alice gaped at them. How could they not know what she was talking about? They were great big, black, winged, skeleton-horse things!

The twins turned away from her and Alice scoffed. She turned to see if anyone else was having the same reaction and caught the gaze of a boy looking over at her. He nodded to her, but that was all, and Alice was left to ponder the horses which were apparently not only winged and skeletal and creepy-looking, but also invisible to some people.

The third year girls were ahead of them in line, but as they clambered into a carriage they waved and called back at Alice and the twins to join them. Alice passed a waiting Cormac in line and flashed him a smug smile. They climbed into the carriage and it took off rattling down the road. Alice decided to try again and see if any of the girls knew anything about the creatures.

"They're thestrals," Alicia said. Everyone turned to look at her curiously.

"You see them too? I thought Alice was just going mental," Fred remarked with a grin at Alice who just rolled her eyes.

"How come only we can see them?" Alice pressed.

"You can only see them if you've seen and accepted death," Alicia answered. The carriage seemed to get instantly colder. "I saw my gran pass, do you mind my asking about you?"

"My grandfather," Alice replied a bit hesitantly. He had died several years ago, when she and her brother were just six, but they were there in the hospital when it happened. She hadn't thought about that in years. She loved her grandfather, he was one of the cool ones that always gave her and Jason candy and presents when he visited. He had been a bit eccentric… although now that she thought about it that was probably because he was a wizard pretending to be normal for them. He had gotten really sick and the whole family had flown out to be there for his final days.

Although, to be honest, Alice's hesitation wasn't because seeing him die was traumatic or anything. It was because that wasn't her first thought when Alicia asked. Her first thought had been her father's and uncle's deaths.

Of course, she hadn't been on the plane with them, so she hadn't really seen their deaths… but she felt like she had. She had seen her father and her uncle, lying amidst wreckage, covered in blood and dirt. She had seen their broken bodies, their last breaths… But she hadn't been there. She had woken, shaking and crying, in the middle of the night. It had been a dream. It wasn't until two days later that they saw the plane crash on the news and she began to wonder…

"Sorry," Alicia said sympathetically and it took a moment for Alice to remember what she was talking about.

Alice nodded but didn't say anything.

The carriage ride was a bit solemn for a while after the whole death discussion. The others didn't really seem comfortable lightening the mood and so left it to Alicia and Alice when they were ready. It really didn't take long for Alice to banish the grim thoughts and she decided to take advantage of the others' discomfort.

She pulled out a Chinese finger trap from her coat and began playing with it, taking care to draw the attention of the others. George, who was sitting next to her, watched her intently, so when she offered it over to him, he accepted it and immediately stuck his fingers in the trap.

Alice burst out laughing as he tugged violently, trying to free his fingers but finding the braided cylinder only tighten the more he pulled. Luckily, this immediately lightened the mood of the carriage and everyone began trying to help free George from the toy. They even tried magic, which Alice was proud to see the trap withstand.

"Let's burn it off!" Fred announced, readying his wand, but George hastily stopped him.

"My fingers are inside, you'll burn them off too!"

When she could finally breathe again, Alice finally succumbed to their demands for help. She grabbed each of George's hands, looked pointedly around at each of them, and pushed his fingers together, loosening the trap, and then gently pulled them out free. The others stared at her in shock and wonder—you would think she had just performed incredible magic. She lost it again. She had just astounded four wizards with a cheap Muggle toy. It wasn't until then that she realized that her strategy in the prank war last year had been completely wrong—it was the cheap tricks that were all too common and understood in the Muggle world that left wizards amazed. Ah well, Alice thought, she had missed her chance last year, but better late than never.

The carriage pulled up to a stop in front of the castle steps to let them out and the third-years and Alice raced each other up the stairs and into the castle.

"No fair, I got blocked by a group of Hufflepuffs!" Angelina complained as they joined the crowd filing into the Great Hall.

"You're just mad 'cause you lost!" Fred chuckled.

"Maybe, but so did you!" Angelina retorted with a grin and a look to Alice who was pretending to not be paying attention to them as she held her head high in triumph.

The group found a place on the benches and managed to save a seat for Lee. He just joined them with the last of the crowd a few moments before the door off the side of the front of the room opened. McGonagall led a line of little first-years out and halfway across the front of the hall in front of the professors' table. The new kids all grouped up as McGonagall retrieved the stool and the Sorting Hat. Once in position, the brim of the hat split open and it began its song:

" _Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,_

 _But don't judge on what you see,_

 _I'll eat myself if you can find_

 _A smarter hat than me._

 _You can keep your bowlers black,_

 _Your top hats sleek and tall,_

 _For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat_

 _And I can cap them all._

 _There's nothing hidden in your head_

 _The Sorting Hat can't see,_

 _So try me on and I will tell you_

 _Where you ought to be._

 _You might belong in Gryffindor,_

 _Where dwell the brave at heart,_

 _Their daring, nerve, and chivalry_

 _Set Gryffindors apart;_

 _You might belong in Hufflepuff,_

 _Where they are just and loyal,_

 _Those patient Hufflepuffs are true_

 _And unafraid of toil;_

 _Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,_

 _If you've a ready mind,_

 _Where those of wit and learning,_

 _Will always find their kind;_

 _Or perhaps in Slytherin_

 _You'll make your real friends,_

 _Those cunning folk use any means_

 _To achieve their ends._

 _So put me on! Don't be afraid!_

 _And don't get in a flap!_

 _You're in safe hands (though I have none)_

 _For I'm a Thinking Cap!"_

The hall burst into applause and over it, Fred leaned forward to his friends with a conspiratorial grin.

"Went all out on the hat puns this year, didn't he?" he joked. They grinned as the hall grew quiet.

McGonagall stepped forward with the list of names and began the sorting. When the first couple were put into Hufflepuff, Alice and the third-years began to get distracted. They set to messing with each other quietly—or at least they thought they were being quiet, as it turned out, their silent laughter and flailing as they pelted each other with Bertie Bott's Every Flavor beans was quite distracting. As McGonagall was absorbed in the sorting ceremony, Percy acted as the police dog of the hall and fixed the group with a venomous glare.

The group settled down, apparently cowed by Percy's glare (in actuality they ran out of beans), and turned their attention back to the ceremony. Just in time too as right after a girl sat down at the Ravenclaw table, the hat atop another girl shouted "GRYFFINDOR!"

They erupted in cheers and Fred and George took the opportunity to shout a few insults at the other houses. Nothing too bad, mostly just joking about how the other houses couldn't handle the amount of awesome this girl was evidently overflowing with.

The ceremony continued on and they gained a couple more new Gryffindors before McGonagall called out "Potter, Harry!"

You would've thought a den of snakes was just set loose as the hall erupted with whispering as Harry Potter stepped forward. People were craning to get a good look, those in the back even standing up to get a view above everyone's heads. Angelina leaned over to the twins and Alice for confirmation, to which they nodded as the little boy sat atop the stool and the hat slipped down over his eyes.

"He does look a tad bookish," Alicia reported to Alice who then gave the others an I-told-you-so look.

"Just hope he doesn't go to Ravenclaw then," Lee said and the others agreed.

The hall was tense with anticipation as the hat took over a minute. It seemed to Alice like everyone was holding their breath right before the hat shouted out "GRYFFINDOR!"

The table exploded. Every Gryffindor was on their feet and the twins were jumping up and down on the bench shouting "We got Potter! We got Potter!" before all three girls snapped at them that they would fall and crack their heads open if they kept it up. Harry shakily walked over and sat down with the other first-years and Nearly Headless Nick, after Percy nearly shook his arm off of course. It took quite a while for the deafening roar to subside enough for the remaining students to be sorted, but it never really went away as the next kid went to Gryffindor as well, so they just kept celebrating.

Fred and George's brother, Ron, was the second to last to be sorted, but it didn't take long for the hat to declare "GRYFFINDOR!" once more and he came over to join his family's house. Alice, the twins, and the other third-years cheered loudly for the youngest Weasley boy, continuing to clap over the last boy's sorting into Slytherin—of course, as soon as they heard the hat shout "SLYTHERIN!" they instantly ceased their clapping, they couldn't be mistaken to be cheering for a new snake!

McGonagall took the hat and stool away and Dumbledore stood up. Alice grinned—this was really what she was waiting for: food!

"Welcome! Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you!"

Dumbledore smiled and sat down as the dishes instantly filled with food. Everyone clapped and cheered before turning to the steaming dishes to dig in. The food was, as usual, amazing, well, except for the haggis which Lee dared her to try. Never one to turn down a dare, she was a Gryffindor after all, she stared down the spoonful of disgusting… would you call it food? Anyway she popped it in her mouth and tried to swallow it down without tasting but it was just too much. She ended up spitting half of it out and choking down the rest.

The others laughed hysterically of course while Lee tried to argue that she didn't eat all of it. Alice argued with him fiercely over this fact and they bickered all through dinner and into dessert until they agreed on a deal that if Lee could eat an entire bar of Hershey's dark chocolate (which Alice had brought with her from the train because British chocolate was basically 80% milk) then Alice would have to force down the rest of the haggis, but if not then they were even.

Lee was smug as he unwrapped the chocolate bar, but upon a large bite (which made Alice cringe—it was divided into pips for a reason!) his grin was rapidly replaced with a grimace. He coughed and choked, claiming it was pure cocoa beans and now it was Alice's turn to laugh. He barely managed to choke down a third of the bar and called it fair. Only Alice now claimed she won since she finished more of the haggis than Lee did of the chocolate so this new argument lasted them all through the rest of dessert until the tables were cleared away and Dumbledore once more stood at the front of the room.

"Ahem—just a few more words now that we are all fed and watered. I have a few start-of-term notices to give you. First years should note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. And a few of our older students would do well to remember that as well."

When he said this, Dumbledore's eyes seemed to flash over to Alice and the Weasley twins who grinned over at each other.

"I have also been asked by Mr. Filch, the caretaker, to remind you all that no magic should be used between classes in the corridors."

At this the twins jokingly looked sternly over at Alice who just chuckled. She picked Filch out at the back of the hall and gave him a little wave and a smile. Filch scowled and Mrs. Norris seemed to cast Alice an especially baleful glare.

"Quidditch trials will be held in the second week of the term. Anyone interested in playing for their house teams should contact Madam Hooch."

All of Alice's friends turned to look pointedly over at her. She just rolled her eyes and shook her head at which they chuckled.

"And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a very painful death."

A few students laughed, thinking it was a joke, the rest looked pretty somber, but Alice, Fred, and George looked over at each other with matching curious expressions, a silent plot forming between them to check it out.

"And now, before we go to bed, let us sing the school song!" cried Dumbledore with an excited grin, while the other professors' smiles froze, their eyes pleading for someone to end them now.

Dumbledore flicked his wand and a long golden ribbon flew out and overhead, twisting into words for everyone in the hall to see.

"Everyone pick their favorite tune," Dumbledore grinned like a kid in a candy shop, "and off we go!"

The discordant noise of everyone singing in a different tune at different paces was a bit much for Alice. Fred and George began belting out a somber funeral march while someone down a little ways sounded like they were rapping it—most likely Cole Parks. Angelina and Alicia went for traditional while Lee did a pop rendition. Alice ended up singing it mostly to the tune of John Denver's "Leaving on a Jet Plane" which surprisingly worked.

" _Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts,_

 _Teach us something please,_

 _Whether we be old and bald_

 _Or young with scabby knees,_

 _Our heads could do with filling_

 _With some interesting stuff,_

 _For now they're bare and full of air,_

 _Dead flies and bits of fluff,_

 _So teach us things worth knowing,_

 _Bring back what we've forgot,_

 _Just do your best, we'll do the rest,_

 _And learn until our brains all rot."_

Anyway, they all ended at different times, the Weasley twins last as expected and Dumbledore conducted their last couple of lines with his wand. He was overjoyed when they finished, clapping loudly and wiping at his eyes.

"Ah, music. A magic beyond all we do here! And now, bedtime. Off you trot!"

Percy led the Gryffindor first-years out of the hall, to many whispers from the other students as Harry Potter passed. Alice was getting up with the Gryffindor third years when McGonagall swooped in behind her.

"Miss Connen, the headmaster wishes to see you in his office at once, chocolate eclair," she related the summons and password in her usual clipped and stern tone. Alice raised her brows inquisitively but McGonagall was already bustling off. Alice's friends gave her curious looks to which Alice could only shrug. She'd only just gotten here! What could she possibly already be in trouble for?

* * *

 **AN:** Nearly misses the train, two run-ins with her nemesis, a near run-in with a giant spider *shivers*, scolded at the opening ceremony, and already off to the headmaster's office. Alice sure does know how to start the year off strong! And what about the incident at Diagon Alley? At least she's safe at Hogwarts... (haha, right, not like they have yearly security threats)

Anyway, I love reviews, shout out to jtp93 who's already left me two!

Still playing around with the idea of doing bits (not like entire chapters or anything, it's Alice's story after all) from other characters' perspectives, let me know what you think (in reviews!) and if so who you'd want to see (Jason and the Ravenclaws, Weasley twin(s), maybe even her nemesis Cormac McLaggen, etc.)


	4. Now Accepting Applications for New BFF

**Author's Notes:** hehe... so it's been a while... I don't have any excuses.

On another note, JK's recently released info on magic in America provided the missing piece to a future storyline (but I'm talking like, fifth year, so... at the rate I'm going maybe you'll see it by 2020 haha hopefully jk)

* * *

Alice stormed into the office, bristling in indignation.

"Headmaster, I haven't done anything wrong and anything you've heard otherwise is a lie made up by the Weasley twins to perpetuate the misconception that I'm an inferior trouble-maker by having me get caught immediately! But I don't get caught! I have Peeves on my payroll for heaven's sake!" Alice shouted… to an empty room.

The portraits on the wall of old headmasters were dozing. One seemed to have been woken by her initial defense and glared over at her sleepily.

"What are you goin' on about, lass?" he snapped before turning over and going back to sleep.

Apparently the Headmaster hadn't gotten back to his office yet. Alice thought that was a bit rude, ordering someone to your office and then making them wait on you. Maybe it was a strategy to sweat her out, possibly confess or reveal her guilt—except that she hadn't done anything wrong yet, at least not that she could remember!

Alice sighed and since she had to wait she figured she might as well look around. Dumbledore had all kinds of baubles in his office. She stepped over to a little end table that held a set of silver instruments—except that one of them was floating over the surface! Now, most people would keep their hands to themselves in another person's office, especially in the magical world when any object could have unknown magical effects, but Alice just couldn't help herself. She gently poked the floating silver ball.

It instantly clattered to the table and then rolled off. So of course Dumbledore took that moment to return to his office. The door creaked loudly as it was pushed open and Alice dove to the floor to retrieve the silver ball. She tried desperately to get it back in floating position but whatever charm had held it there had vanished as soon as she touched the ball. The door was now fully open and Alice hastily stuck it on top of another instrument—to give the effect that it was floating above the surface—and turned around with an innocent expression.

Jason gave her a knowing look as Dumbledore led him inside. Alice never had an "innocent" expression, her default look was mischievous so when she smiled politely and held her hands behind her back she had almost surely done something. Dumbledore hadn't learned this lesson yet apparently and smiled kindly over at her.

"Ah, Alice, I see you beat us here," Dumbledore shut the door behind him. "I do hope we haven't kept you waiting too long, come, sit," he gestured to two plush chairs that materialized in front of the fireplace.

Alice and Jason sat down, casting identical questioning looks to each other, to which they both shrugged as neither knew what this meeting was about. Dumbledore flicked his wand and the large armchair behind his desk raced over to stop underneath the headmaster as he sat down opposite the twins. He leaned back with a sigh and rested his hands in his lap as he gazed at the twins with those benevolent, sparkling, blue eyes.

"You two can relax, you are not in any trouble," he smiled and Alice sighed in relief. "I actually asked you both here to see how you were doing?"

Alice and Jason were taken aback by that. Jason quirked his head a bit in confusion.

"Um, we're fine," Alice answered, though it sounded more like a question.

"So you were not distressed by what happened at Diagon Alley?" Dumbledore prompted gently.

"What happened at Diagon Alley?" Jason asked, seeking answers for once. The twins had questioned Margo the entire way home and then into her preparation of dinner until she snapped at them to go upstairs and finish their school work. They had then speculated for hours on what could have possibly made her react so (Alice was procrastinating her Potions essay).

Dumbledore fidgeted a bit in his chair at the question, but then smiled at their stern and expectant looks.

"Your guardian, Mrs. Wallace, believed to see a suspicious person following the three of you in Diagon Alley. We do not know who it was, or even if they were indeed following you three, but she was more guarded considering the incident that transpired in Gringotts just a few weeks prior," Dumbledore explained, to which Jason nodded knowingly but Alice looked confused between the two.

"What happened at Gringotts?" she asked. Jason rolled his eyes at her.

"You would know if you read the news," he grumbled.

"Why would I read the news? That's what I have you for!" Alice retorted. Dumbledore took the pause in bickering to actually inform her of what happened.

"There was a break-in at the bank, though nothing was stolen as the vault in question had just been emptied earlier that day. Considering the severity of the situation—"

"No one's broken into Gringotts," Jason interrupted.

"—I thought it best to alert your guardian to be on watch for any suspicious activity. She was simply following my instructions at Diagon Alley, which I appreciate, though I suspect you two were in no serious danger," Dumbledore finished. Alice still wasn't convinced.

"What would a break-in at Gringotts have anything to do with us?"

Dumbledore seemed a bit taken aback by that question, but Alice wasn't backing down, and now Jason was agreeing with her too. Dumbledore leaned forward a bit and steepled his fingers. Alice had the feeling Dumbledore hadn't expected any push back from his explanation and was fumbling for a clearer one.

"Well, nothing directly. However, the vault actually belonged to me, and since you two are under my protection it was a possibility—though a slim one—that the criminal would learn of our connection and attempt to use you two as leverage for the contents of the vault."

Alice leaned back in her chair and grinned, causing Jason to give her a worried look.

"All right, Headmaster. I guess we should thank you for looking out for us, then," Alice said kindly. Dumbledore visibly relaxed.

"Oh, no need. I couldn't bear if anything were to happen to you two on my account. Though, as I said, it was a very slim possibility and I believe Mrs. Wallace was just being overly cautious and you were in no such danger," he assured them once more. He sighed and put his hands on the armrests of his chair. "Well, that is all I called you two in for. I'm sure you are both eager to get to bed!" He stood up and the twins followed suit.

"Oh, yes, Headmaster, thank you," Alice replied as Dumbledore led them to the door and saw them out.

"Good night Mister and Miss Connen," Dumbledore smiled kindly as they nodded and waved in return and stepped onto the moving staircase as he shut the door.

As soon as the statues returned to guarding the entrance to the headmaster's office, Alice's fake smile dropped.

"That was completely bogus," she stated grimly. Jason sighed in obvious relief.

"Oh, thank goodness, you saw through it too! I was worried there for a bit. Something's clearly going on," Jason agreed.

"And he's not telling us about it," Alice said bitterly. She gave her brother a look and the pact was instantly formed between them to investigate the matter on their own. They clearly couldn't trust Dumbledore for information, it didn't matter if he was withholding it for their protection. The Connen twins had been in the dark on too many important matters concerning themselves that they were no longer in the business of trusting that adults knew what was best for them. They would figure that out for themselves, thank you very much!

* * *

Alice tried very hard not to curse at Katie when the girl woke her for breakfast. Those that slipped out were luckily muffled by Alice's pillow, but she did manage to thank her fellow second-year, though it was a bit gruff. Katie didn't seem to take offense, and after Alice observed the other girl try to wake her friend Leanne she discovered why: Leanne was a monster in the mornings and her curses were not muffled by her pillow at all. Alice had never really noticed because Emily had always woken her at ungodly hours before everyone else was up…

Oh. She hadn't meant to think about Emily. Well, she hadn't meant to think about life at Hogwarts without her best friend. That thought considerably sobered Alice's mood and she got ready in silence while Katie dragged Leanne out of bed.

Liz was already in the bathroom, but she was never fully functional until she'd gotten food in her so they merely exchanged pleasantries when their mouths weren't full of toothpaste. Liz went down ahead of the others and it was then that Alice realized how small and empty the room seemed with just four girls occupying it. Despite Leanne's initial difficulties, she and Katie managed to get ready fairly quickly and Alice went down with them to breakfast.

"So what position are you trying out for?" Leanne asked Katie before biting into a muffin.

"Chaser! I really hope I get it. There's two spots open since Sarah and Elgin graduated, but Alicia will probably get one of them," Katie rambled nervously.

"Then that leaves one spot for you! You'll make it," Alice stated simply.

"You think?" Katie asked hopefully.

"Definitely. Your only competition would come from upper classmen, and while I can't speak towards their skill, you'd think if any of them had the least bit of interest or talent they would've been reserves. Then we wouldn't have had to deal with," Alice shivered, "Llewyn."

Katie nodded in agreement and seemed to visibly relax.

"Yeah, now that you mention it, you would probably be my biggest competition," Katie meant it as a compliment to Alice's flying skills, which she had unknowingly demonstrated last year in the flying test, but Alice took it more as a hilarious joke.

"Well, then you have nothing to worry about!" Alice laughed. "If I never have to get on another broom in my life, it will be too soon!" Katie looked at her incredulously but could only shake her head.

Before too long, McGonagall came down the table, passing out schedules. Alice groaned when she saw what they had first.

"Why do they put Herbology in the mornings? I'm not ready to deal with temperamental plants this early in the day!" Alice whined.

"Ugh! And History of Magic is after lunch! It's like they want us to fall asleep during that class," Leanne complained.

"And we have Potions twice a week now," Katie grumbled.

The three girls were rather disappointed by their schedules this year, missing the times when they had double Charms and only one class on Friday. Scanning the schedule, Alice just seemed to get surlier, until…

"We don't have morning classes on Wednesdays," she gasped, standing to her feet. To the surprise of Katie and Leanne, Alice suddenly climbed atop the bench and shouted at the top of her lungs, "I CAN SLEEP IN ON WEDNESDAYS!"

Fred and George hollered in congratulations while some other second-years clapped in agreement. McGonagall didn't seem to find this news very miraculous, for she simply snapped over at Alice to "Get down off the bench." Alice conceded and sat back down, but she couldn't stop smiling until the bell rang for the beginning of classes (then she of course frowned and grumbled because she had to go to class, so it was a short-lived high).

The Gryffindor second-years headed off to greenhouse 3, which made Alice question what went on in greenhouse 2. Did they skip it altogether or would they come back to it in the future, and if so, why didn't they just move the stuff from greenhouse 3 into greenhouse 2 so they could go in order. Katie and Leanne didn't seem as perplexed by this as Alice, so she was left to wonder about greenhouse 2 on her own.

They spent the morning repotting seedling mandrakes, which Professor Sprout made look a lot easier than it actually was. The mandrakes fought them on every front and poor Leanne even got bit by one. It didn't draw blood so Professor Sprout waved it off, though it had left a mark on her finger. Alice and Liz had to help Katie wrestle down a particularly fat and troublesome mandrake, but even with the extra hands the mandrake still managed to put up a good fight and tossed a clod of dirt straight in Katie's face.

The students were nearly unrecognizable they were so covered in dirt when Sprout finally waved at them to pack up. Luckily she had done so a bit before the class period would've normally ended, giving them time to rush off to clean up before their next class, which for the Gryffindors was Transfiguration.

Beetles do not want to be turned into buttons apparently, as they all raced across the desktops. Katie's was particularly evasive and in an attempt to escape, scurried up Leanne's arm causing the girl to scream in the middle of class. The boys laughed while McGonagall glared and plucked the beetle from the girl's shoulder.

Alice and Liz managed to successfully trap their beetles with their school books so they didn't have to chase them around the desk. That made it much easier work and they had transformed their beetles into buttons before the class was even half over. McGonagall gave them an impressed nod as she gave them more beetles, before rushing off to keep Robbie from stepping on his, which had escaped the desk altogether and was now scurrying all over the class.

Everyone was happy when the lunch bell finally rang, though they were a bit slow to get down there with all their aches and pains from their first two classes.

Katie and Leanne invited Alice to eat lunch with them, but, after several of Alice's jokes had landed flat with them in class, she was starting to wonder if she really clicked with the two girls. Luckily, she spotted Fred and George in the dining hall so it gave Alice an excuse to turn down the girls' offer. They were kind of hard to miss as they were waving frantically over at her as they tried to dodge rolls being chucked at them by their friends.

"Ah! Alice, settle this for us," Fred said as she came and sat down next to Angelina. Angelina tossed a bit of a roll at Fred and it bounced off his forehead. He glared at her, but Alice smiled and nudged Angelina. Angelina handed her a piece and Alice chucked it straight at Fred's nose. He gasped and looked at her in shock.

"You're supposed to help us!" he exclaimed.

"With what?" Alice asked as she threw another bit of bread at him, which he swatted away.

"These barbarians think that The Weird Sisters are superior to The Hobgoblins! Ridicule them for their wrongfulness!" George shouted as he was targeted by Angelina, Lee, and Alicia as they all booed him.

"I would love to help you out, but I have no idea what you're talking about." Alice replied. Suddenly everyone stopped and stared at her. "What?" she shrugged.

If there was one thing Alice was good at, it was uniting the third-years against her Wizarding ignorance. They all turned on her, pelting her with rolls. Alice swatted away most of them, aside from the last (which she strongly suspected Lee of throwing) that hit her on the ear.

"They're bands, Alice!" Fred exclaimed.

"Two of the greatest rock bands in the wizarding world!" Angelina shouted.

"So you admit the Hobgoblins are great!" George turned on Angelina triumphantly.

"Yes, they're a great rock band, but not as great as the Weird Sisters!" she asserted.

"Well, if you guys will let me hear them both I can resolve this!" Alice shouted, just to shout because everyone else was. They all stopped, realizing that this was actually the greatest solution—as Alice didn't know either band, she was completely unbiased.

"Who has both albums?" Alicia asked.

Without answering, Lee Jordan took off down the Great Hall and vanished out the doors. The others chuckled before going into some other discussion as they ate. It wasn't long before Lee came rushing back in with his arms filled with two albums and a record player.

He dropped it all onto the table with a THUD and went to pull out a record when Angelina stopped him.

"Wait!" she shouted, holding out a hand to stop Lee from taking out the Weird Sisters record. "She shouldn't know which band it is."

They all stopped and after a moment, nodded. Angelina made a good point.

"Alright, turn around," Fred ordered to Alice. She rolled her eyes and turned around on the bench, though she took her plate with her.

Lee fussed with setting up the record player for a moment before Alice heard music start to play. She nodded along to it, as she continued to eat her sandwich. After the song ended, she opened her mouth to comment but they all simultaneously shushed her. Alice grumbled but waited for the next song. She nodded along to this one as well and even tapped her foot too—which the twins picked up on.

When they gave her the go-ahead to turn back around they were all looking on at her eagerly—the twins more so than the others.

"So? Which did you prefer?" George asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Alice paused.

Fred and George's confidence began to slip. Alice grinned.

"The second one," she confirmed. Fred and George jumped to their feet and cheered while Alicia, Angelina, and Lee swore.

"She's just as tone-deaf as they are," Lee scowled, waving off their victory dances.

"I told you we should have gone with a different song," Alicia grumbled.

They continued to argue all through lunch, and although Alice was glad to escape the third years fighting over her judgement, she wasn't looking forward to class. She caught up with the other second-years but didn't really know who to fit into step with. She wound up walking alongside Cole Parks, but he was pretty distracted by Thomas who was telling a quite involved story about a surely fabricated adventure he had on holiday involving a banshee.

As everyone filed into the classroom, they all began to sit at the two-person desks. Cole and Thomas sat together of course, and Katie and Leanne, Cormac and his goons split up evenly over two desks, leaving only one seat left open next to Liz. Alice awkwardly sat down at the desk with her and they both kind of nodded at each other in acknowledgement but that was all. It's not that Alice didn't like Liz, she just didn't know her that well. In all honesty, Alice didn't really know any of the kids in her year that well as last year she had only hung out with Emily.

Quirrell entered the classroom and Alice was gloomily preparing herself for a frightfully boring year with no friends when Liz turned to her cautiously.

"Turban's new, someone said he stuffs it with garlic to ward off vampires after a run-in with them over summer," she commented in an undertone with a slight smirk. Alice quirked a brow at her curiously.

"Oh? You don't seem convinced," Alice pointed out with a slight grin. Liz's eyes seemed to twinkle mischievously and Alice wondered if she had just found her new best friend. Liz leaned over a bit more.

"The garlic smell would be too overwhelming and I personally don't think Quirrell was brave enough to cause big enough drama with vampires to still be wary. I think he actually got some kind of injury or maybe a bug, like a parasite, that disfigured his head and he doesn't want to show it," Liz conveyed in a whisper.

Alice nodded, thinking it over. She had also heard the garlic rumor—the Weasley twins had been the ones to start it—but like Liz she didn't think that story particularly plausible what with Quirrell's tremulous nature. Liz's made a bit more sense as a gross scar would definitely draw teasing from petty students and Quirrell did seem like the type to be pretty self-conscious.

"So, if you're right, which do you think it was? An injury or a bug?" Alice asked.

"Well, I guess they'd technically be the same thing, but I really think it was a parasite, like a tick that he didn't notice until it was too late and it had already ruined half his scalp," Liz clarified.

The girls continued theorizing on Quirrell's turban—particularly on the type of creature that injured him as Liz was firmly set on a parasite but Alice suggested a venomous animal like a snake or something that spit poison at him. Their discussion managed to keep them entertained through class as Quirrell's teaching style was markedly less… exuberant… than Triggs' last year. Sadly, everyone realized that Defense Against the Dark Arts wouldn't be nearly as exciting or involving this year.

Their next class wasn't any better and the Gryffindors were seriously wondering how they would survive this schedule with two boring classes back-to-back. Alice at least was a bit more confident about her survival rate as she had learned that she and Liz got on pretty well and could find anything to keep their attentions occupied.

"So who do you think will be the first to go? My money's on Robbie," Liz nodded over to the group of boys across the room who were already settling in a bit too comfortably.

"Acton already looks drowsy, I say he's out within the first fifteen minutes," Alice grinned and the girls shook on it.

Their bet made History of Magic a bit more interesting as they actually had something to pay attention to rather than the sonorous droning of Professor Binns. Sad when waiting for a couple kids to fall asleep is more interesting than the class. Regardless, they both eagerly nudged each other whenever one of the two boys yawned or laid his head on the desk. Ultimately though, they were both wrong and it was Cormac who began drooling on his book first, leading to his friends messing with him while he slept.

Time tended to drag during Binns' class, but it felt considerably shorter with Liz to talk to. They were already making plans to work on their homework together—McGonagall had really piled it on and it was just the first day!—as they filed out of the classroom. As they stepped out into the hallway, Alice instantly noticed the two red heads leaning against the wall who stood up as soon as she came out of the classroom. She said goodbye to Liz and went over to meet the twins.

"Figure you're in need of a wake-up call," George grinned. Alice nodded. "Filch left his post of guarding the third-floor corridor," he continued.

"He was called away for more urgent business as someone let loose some owls in the library," Fred smirked. Alice grinned; she _wondered_ who that could have been.

"So the coast is clear to begin our investigation?" Alice asked, eyes glinting with excitement.

"Clear as Angelina's complexion!" George joked. Alice laughed and the three raced off towards the stairs.

The three of them, being master sneaks, knew that the best way to avoid attention was to act normal and pretend like you knew where you were going. So they just talked randomly—which wasn't that hard for them as they could get into a friendly argument about anything at the drop of a hat, this time it was what was under Quirrell's turban as the twins were fiercely loyal to their garlic theory—and headed straight for the third floor corridor on the right. No one even took a second glance.

Once in the deserted corridor though they got much more serious. Their laughter faded so as not to draw unwanted attention and alert anyone on guard duty of their location. As they tiptoed down the hall they met no resistance—not even Mrs. Norris!

"Alright, this is getting ridiculous!" Fred announced, ceasing his stealthy tiptoe and walking normally. Alice and George glared at him but after no one came pounding down the hall after them, they shrugged and abandoned stealth mode as well.

"Why is this even off limits? Nothing's here," Alice remarked. Aside from the corridor being kind of creepy with a ton of weird statues and cobwebs and no doors leading off it there wasn't much to see or start trouble with.

"Not so fast, Miss Connen!" George declared as they came upon a door. "This looks promising!"

He tried the handle but it was locked. No matter, a quick Alohamora did the charm and the door swung open…

And immediately they were hit with a wave of hot stinking air and a roar like thunder. They were actually knocked off their feet by the blast as the door slammed shut once more. Alice and the twins picked themselves up off the floor and glanced at each other in nervous excitement. Just as Fred was stepping back towards the door they heard something even more ominous—a meow.

They all jumped and turned to find Mrs. Norris glaring up at them a few feet away. Without another word—well, there were a couple muttered expletives—Alice and the twins took off down the corridor.

"This area's restricted! Where are they, Mrs. Norris?" Filch's voice croaked in the distance behind them. The kids continued to pelt down the hall, though they saw no hiding spots or turn-offs and weren't even sure if there was an exit on the other side.

"The map! The map!" Alice whisper-shouted to the twins, recalling the Marauder's Map from last year that showed secret passages in and out of Hogwarts. Fred swore at himself for not thinking about it sooner but fumbled to tear it from his robe pocket. He had difficulty reading it as they raced full speed down the hall, but they could hear Filch's flapping footsteps behind them so he couldn't stop or slow down.

"Tapestry! Right there!" Fred gasped as he quickly put on the brakes and skidded to a halt before passing the tapestry hanging on the wall. Alice and George skidded past it and had to scramble back as Fred held the tapestry away from the wall, revealing a passageway. The three ducked in, dropping the tapestry back in place behind them, and tried to catch their breath. It wasn't long before they heard Filch pass straight by them as he continued down the corridor.

"The cat could smell us, go on," Alice urged and pushed the boys farther down the secret passageway.

The passage was dark forcing the kids to use their wands for light which cast ghostly shadows on their faces and on the walls. Fred guided them with the map, but it seemed to take forever. By the time they finally emerged from a fake wall on the fifth floor they were a bit surprised to find it was still daylight.

"Well, that was a total disaster," Alice remarked. "I had a great time, thanks guys!" she grinned and put an arm around each of them.

"Wish we had seen what was in that room," George said with wistful disappointment.

"Yeah, but it can't be that big of a deal if it was only protected by a locked door," Fred commented to which the others nodded.

"Well, maybe we can try again another time," Alice suggested.

"Yeah, though Filch will probably automatically suspect us, so we'll have to wait for that to die down," George added. They all looked at each other with serious expressions for a moment before bursting out laughing. If they waited until Filch no longer suspected them they'd be waiting until the day they graduated—actually, he'd probably still blame them long after that.

* * *

 **AN:** So I know what the next chapter will consist of... but I also knew ahead of time what this chapter would consist of and that didn't really help with me getting it out quickly... in my defense school has been pretty hectic and I was sick for a solid week and a half, but I digress... hopefully will get it done soon, especially as I'll finally be getting to the characters I want as Alice forms her friend group which she'll keep from here on out (they're pretty fabulous, especially together and have a bunch of running gags and great banter but you'll see that eventually so I'll shut up now)


	5. So Murder Plants are a Thing

**Author's Note:** Well, I was going to apologize for not updating in so long, but had a bit of trouble with uploading to doc manager so... I'm blaming ff for my poor updating habits. If it helps, this one is kinda long.

* * *

"What'd you get for the second question?" Alice asked, looking at the upside down parchment. Only it was right side up to her as her head was also upside down, hanging off the edge of the couch, her legs in the air over the back of it. Liz had questioned why Alice had taken up this position whilst doing their homework (it didn't seem very practical), but Alice had assured her that the blood rushing to her head helped her think better. Liz didn't think that logic quite worked out, but she had just shrugged and left her friend to her preferred study position.

Liz now looked up from her position on the floor with a confused look.

"I'm drawing the Astronomy chart due tomorrow, what are you working on?"

"Oh, I finished that already, this is the Transfiguration problem set," Alice replied nonchalantly. Liz stopped and glared at her. Alice didn't notice at first, but either felt her friend's eyes shooting daggers into her or saw it out of the corner of her eye and glanced down, or rather, up from her perspective. "What?"

"You finished the Astronomy chart?" Liz deadpanned. Alice shrugged, not understanding Liz's problem. "The one where you have to chart out all the stars _and_ trace the constellations _and_ chart out the planets _and_ their orbits _and_ their moons and their positions in the next _month_ and label _all_ of it!? You finished _that!_?" Liz's voice had grown increasingly loud as she progressed and Alice looked around to see if she had drawn any attention— she hadn't, the only people left in the common room were their classmates who were too busy rushing through the very same project.

"Um… yeah," Alice replied.

"Well then why in the bloody hell are you not helping me?! I've been struggling with this thing for ages and you've just been sat up there doing the bloody Transfiguration work!" Liz exploded. Alice didn't seem phased.

"Actually I was working on the Charms work too, I only just started Transfiguration," Alice felt the need to point out.

Liz's face turned red— redder than Alice's was and she had been hanging upside down for the past hour and a half. She seemed to steam for a bit, simply glaring at Alice, coming to terms with the fact that she would have to murder her best friend and progress through her subsequent years at Hogwarts friendless. Then suddenly, she set her jaw, grabbed the collar of Alice's shirt, and dragged her friend off of the couch and onto the ground, so quickly Alice managed only a yelp of surprise and protest before her backside thwacked onto the floor.

"Ow! For crying out loud, Liz, are you trying to bust my skull open?" Liz didn't respond so Alice thought it best not to test it.

"You work on that side," Liz ordered and tossed Alice a quill. She fumbled to catch it, and muttered something about crazy people, before setting to work on drawing Pluto.

They worked in silence for a bit, each girl focused on the task at hand, before Alice began muttering something and pointing her wand at the paper. Liz glanced over at her, suspicious and a bit nervous.

"What are you doing?" she demanded probably a bit more sharply than she had intended. Alice jumped and then glanced at her askance.

"Sheesh! I'm trying to help! It's just a spell my brother taught me," she answered. "He found it in an astronomy book in the library. It's _Praesagio_ and then the Latin name of whatever planet or moon or whatever and then how far in the future you want to see it go. Then you just trace the movement, or you can use another spell to kind of repeat the praesagio spell so it moves on its own and you don't have to draw it repeatedly."

Liz stared at her like Alice had known all along the secrets of the universe but was hiding them from everyone.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?!" she demanded, swatting Alice's arm.

"I don't know!" Alice retorted, grabbing her stinging arm. "How was I supposed to know you didn't know about it?"

"Ugh! You are useless!" Liz declared.

But then, with this newfound discovery, and with two people working on it at the same time, Liz's project was finished quite quickly. Alice stood up and squinted down at Liz's project, then pursed her lips.

"Dang, yours looks better than mine."

"Bloody well should," Liz muttered, still a bit perturbed, but she did grin a bit over at Alice.

"Alright, now get your Transfiguration work and tell me what you get for question two," Alice said, returning to her position on the couch while Liz sighed.

* * *

The first week and a half of school saw Alice and Liz become inseparable; sitting together in class, at meals, in the common room. They quickly became known for staying up late in the common room to finish assignments last minute, discussing crazy theories in class and otherwise not paying attention and getting in trouble for talking but still getting their classwork done before their classmates, and generally being the annoying smart kids that everyone not so secretly hated for not having to put in effort. Which wasn't really fair to Alice, as she had put so much work into her studies last year that she wound up getting ahead of the curriculum, thank you Jason. Although she still missed Emily, Alice couldn't imagine surviving Hogwarts without Liz, who had quickly become the best friend she had ever had.

Therefore, when the Gryffindor third years found Alice at dinner that night, she was sitting with Liz. No matter, they simply surrounded the both of them.

"So! Think we'll have any luck at try-outs tomorrow?" Fred asked Angelina suspiciously nonchalantly as he plopped down on the bench across from Alice, giving her a pointed look, which she ignored.

Angelina tried not to glance at Alice as she gave her, clearly rehearsed, answer of "I don't know," dramatic sigh. Alice rolled her eyes. "There doesn't seem to be much interest from the second years. Even if they did have the talent we can't force anyone onto the team," she said sorrowfully.

"Such a shame that Gryffindors would keep talent from their own team," Alicia shook her head.

"It's downright unacceptable! This is the house of the brave dammit! We can't have second years cowering out of helping our team to victory!" Lee announced. Alicia had to put a restraining hand on his shoulder to keep him from standing atop the bench.

"Yeah, sucks," Alice agreed, thoroughly unmoved by their dramatics. Lee couldn't take that and broke free of Alicia's hand to stand to his feet.

"Why are you doing this to us? Do you want us to be crushed?" Lee demanded, outraged.

Alice feigned surprise. "Whoa! Wait. This was all supposed to be about _me_?" she gasped sarcastically. Liz took a sip of her drink to hide her grin.

"Oh, shove off! You bloody well knew we were talking about you!" George laughed. Alice grinned but shrugged and held out her hands.

"Don't know what to tell you, guys. I just don't want to play Quidditch."

"I do not accept that!" Lee exclaimed.

"I guess you don't have to, but that's how it is," Alice explained. Lee groaned and sat back down, looking like she'd just sapped all the spirit from him.

That is, until Liz chuckled, and his head snapped up to focus in on the other girl.

"Do you play Quidditch?" he demanded, shoving an accusing finger her way.

"Uh, I know how to play, but…" Liz hesitated, not having expected the attention to shift to herself.

"Don't say you're not any good, just come try out tomorrow and we'll decide," Angelina stated. Liz looked like she was about to protest but Alice shook her head at her. Sometimes it was just easier to stop fighting, this group would likely forget about it in a couple hours anyway.

But for now, Quidditch was simply not going to be dropped.

"Connen _and_ Ackers!" Lee groaned.

"Shut it, Jordan!" Alice snapped, throwing a roll at him. He pulled his hands up to protect his head and the roll bounced off his wrist (what would have been his nose). Angelina looked like she was on the verge of tears.

"Strength, precision, you'd make an excellent Chaser," she sighed.

"Or Seeker," Alicia offered, not really wanting anymore competition for the Chaser position, she was _not_ going to be a reserve this year.

"Or Beater," George grinned.

"That would mean I'd be taking one of your spots," Alice smirked.

"I'd be happy to have you replace George," Fred swore solemnly. Now it was George's turn to throw a roll. Fred grinned, but kept at it, "We'd have such better chemistry, and the twin telepathy still works out since you're a twin too!"

"Don't think that's how it works," Liz smirked.

"'Course it is! How would you know?" Fred threw back playfully.

"You have to play Quidditch!" Lee asserted.

"I. Don't. Like. Flying. End of story." Alice paused, seeming to consider something and then added, "Now, if there was a wizard dodgeball game I would play and dominate you all! Just saying."

"Oh really?" Fred challenged.

"Really," Alice stated confidently. Fred suddenly threw a roll at her. Alice calmly but quickly leaned to the right and it soared harmlessly past where it hit a Hufflepuff in the back of the head.

"Not bad," Fred remarked, oblivious to the Hufflepuff glaring at him in the background. George suddenly flung another roll at her. Alice deftly caught it in the air as if it was the simplest thing in the world. She crumbled the roll in her hands.

"You were saying?" Alice said sweetly, grinning.

"Now why don't you try out for Quidditch! We could use you!" Oliver Wood shouted from halfway down the table. Everyone burst out laughing.

"Maybe if you arrive for try-outs shirtless she'll come around," George tossed back to Oliver, sending his fifth year friends to hysterics.

"Certainly couldn't hurt," Alicia shrugged mischievously. Oliver turned beat red and looked anywhere but their direction. The third and second years laughed.

"I think we found our new recruiting technique," Angelina joked.

"You're laughing, but if it works I say we do it!" Lee insisted.

"I'll come to try-outs to see that. Won't try out, but I'll come and watch," Alice grinned.

"And see how terrible everyone else is," George grumbled through a mouthful of dinner roll.

Alice sighed and put her palms on the table.

"Alright, listen. _If_ everyone that tries out totally sucks and you guys can't form a decent team with those who show up, then I will try out," Alice conceded, but at the joyous looks on all their faces she held up a hand to clarify. "Not join! Try out. Because if you do not recall, the only time my flying skills were mentionable I was acting purely on instinct and self-preservation."

"Yes! We've got this season in the bag!" Lee exclaimed, leaping to his feet. The group did not need McGonagall's glare to hurriedly drag him back into his seat.

A group of Ravenclaws, on their way out, overheard and stopped over by the group.

"Really? I think we'll be a good challenge for you at least, we've got Alex Connen's nephew trying out for us," Anthony Lucy, a Chaser for the Ravenclaw team, commented.

"Did you have to force him under strict conditions that he'd only try out if everyone else was rubbish?" Angelina asked in a tone that Alice didn't appreciate.

"No, not at all," Anthony replied a bit warily. "He asked when try-outs were before the announcement was even made."

The entire Gryffindor Quidditch team turned to glare at Alice, who at least had the decency to shrink down in her seat, cursing her brother all the way.

"Why?" Anthony questioned, not quite up to speed on the situation.

"Because _this_ is Alex Connen's niece," Lee Jordan declared, pointing his finger at Alice. "And we had to beg and plead for her to even consider showing up!"

"I DON'T LIKE FLYING!" Alice shouted.

"BUT YOU'RE GREAT AT IT!" Lee shouted right back.

The Ravenclaws took this opportunity to escape the Great Hall. Perhaps they had seen McGonagall storming over— the Gryffindors sure hadn't.

"Mr. Jordan! Miss Connen! Cease this caterwauling at once! Ten points from Gryffindor!" she scolded sternly. Lee looked utterly betrayed.

"But professor, she won't try out for the Quidditch team! And she's an Ackers-Connen!" Lee pleaded with McGonagall to understand.

"I understand your distress at having such a great talent being withheld, but that is not reason to have a shouting match in the Great Hall! Some people simply don't see helping their house to victory as a responsibility, you can't force that upon someone," McGonagall replied, and although it seemed like she was scolding Lee, it also seemed like she was taking his side.

Alice threw up her hands in shock. Even professors were trying to guilt-trip her into this! She was definitely going to have a talk with her brother.

* * *

"So I hear you're trying out for the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, thanks for throwing me under the bus!" Alice snapped peevishly.

Jason heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes.

"And good morning to you too, Alice," he remarked dryly. Jason continued getting his book and equipment ready for Potions class while Alice ranted at him. Liz at least gave him a sympathetic look.

"I had them all content, telling them I would try out if everyone else sucked! But then your Ravenclaw buddies come over to brag about how you're all excited to try out for their team! How could you do that to me?" Alice demanded. Jason quirked a brow. Even his friend Finn was confused.

"Wait, what?" Finn demanded. Alice looked over at him as if she was just realizing he was there.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"Finn Kearney," he answered. "How is your brother trying out for Quidditch a crime against you?"

"Because all of Gryffindor apparently wants me to be some great Quidditch star like our uncle and here's Jason doing it for Ravenclaw! They think it's traitorous to not step up as the Gryffindor counter to your house's Connen!" Alice explained. Finn looked thoughtful.

"Well, that's not fair," he said.

"I know! Right!" Alice was ecstatic, finding someone who finally understood! She probably would have continued a conversation with the Ravenclaw boy about the injustice of it all, but Snape was getting that slight, displeased quirk to his lips that meant class was about to start.

"Be seated," Snape's drawling voice ordered.

Alice rolled her eyes and turned back around in her seat to face the front. The noise of the room died down until everyone was quietly anticipating Snape's first insult… or rather, instructions.

"You will continue your work on the Sleeping Draught, or what was supposed to be a sleeping draught before you started." There it was. Everyone shared knowing, weary glances. This would be a long class.

Alice and Liz set to work on their potion, forming an admirable assembly line wherein Alice was tasked with measuring out the ingredients, occasionally chopping up some of them (under Liz's direction), and _not_ putting anything into the cauldron. Neither girl was particularly adept at Potions, but Liz at least was good at following instructions and _very_ good at keeping an eye on Alice and stopping her before she did anything wrong. They were working so efficiently that when Snape was making his rounds of criticism he could only glare at them.

They were almost done with their potion—despite Cormac and his gang's repeated attempts to throw random things into their cauldron— when there was a tiny _plop_ and a sizzle and an almost inaudible gasp from Liz. Alice looked up fearfully. Liz's eyes were huge as she stared down into the cauldron, her hair falling into her face. That was weird, Liz had pinned her hair back with a—

"Oh no," Alice breathed. Liz looked over at her, still too stunned to comprehend that her butterfly clip had just fallen into the cauldron and ruined their potion.

So of course, Snape took that moment to sweep up alongside their table.

"Is there a problem?" he sneered, making both girls jump.

"No, sir, none at all," Liz recovered quickly.

"Really?" Snape's grin was not promising. "I do not recall," he grabbed their spoon and fished Liz's butterfly clip out of the cauldron. " _Hair accessories_ being on the list of ingredients."

The girls looked down at the table.

"Your potion's contaminated. Start over." And with that, Snape swooped away to crush some other students while Liz and Alice cursed vehemently under their breath. Cormac and Robbie snickered as if they had had anything to do with it. Both girls looked absolutely murderous as they regathered ingredients to start their potion over.

"I don't know what jell-o he's been eating, because our potion is not gelatinous!" Finn complained to Jason as they strained their very-liquid-potion. Jason didn't respond, but that was probably because he couldn't move his jaw from how hard he seemed to be clenching it. Snape was the only professor in the entire school who criticized Jason's work, and most of his critiques were entirely made up out of spite, or so Jason claimed. Though Alice did see a few jelly-like consistency globs left behind in the strainer.

"Looks like they added too much flobberworm mucus," Cole commented to Alice as they both rifled through the cabinet.

"At least he didn't have to restart," Alice grumbled bitterly. Cole didn't say anything, but continued getting asphodel petals and essence of nettle— the last ingredients. Alice looked at him skeptically. "How are _you and Thomas_ almost done?" she asked, a bit more insulting than she intended.

"Thomas is a potions nerd," Cole told her conspiratorially. Alice looked at him like he'd just escaped a mental institution. "No seriously, look!"

They turned around to see Thomas rapidly and precisely slicing up the sopophorous beans and then dash them into the cauldron with a flair. Alice was astonished. So too, it seemed, was Snape, who kept glaring over at Thomas and huffing as the boy twirled his spoon through his fingers. It was absolutely unnecessary but looked cool, like those tv chefs would do to make a cooking program more exciting and show off their skill. Snape was irritated by it but couldn't scold Thomas for his potion because it looked absolutely perfect.

Cole gave Alice a sympathetic look before going back to his table to bring Thomas the final ingredients. Alice brought her ingredients back to Liz, who had dumped out their cauldron.

"I don't get them," Alice said, nodding over to Thomas and Cole who were mashing the asphodel petals to the beat of The Beatles' "Come Together." Liz glanced over to the boys and shrugged.

"Yeah, they're interesting," she commented.

"Didn't you hang out with them last year?" Alice asked.

"A bit, not much. I mostly just hung around Katie and Leanne, but Leanne knew Thomas from before school so the boys would be around too occasionally," Liz explained before getting a mischievous look on her face and continuing in a whisper, "I think Leanne had a bit of a crush on Thomas."

"Really?" Alice mused, glancing over to the blonde girl hunched over her and Katie's cauldron.

"She might as well drop it, seeing as he's liked you since day one—" Liz stopped herself and looked askance at Alice. Alice quirked her brow. Had Liz and Cole escaped the institution together?

"How do you reckon that?" Alice asked, clearly disbelieving.

"Are you kidding? He's always showing off whenever you're around," Liz retorted.

"Is he? I thought that's just how he is," Alice shrugged.

"Well, partially. But I suppose you wouldn't notice as you've never been around him when he's _not_ showing off."

Liz made a good point, and Alice could care less if Thomas Ward had a crush on her (unless it helped her get a good grade in Potions, but she couldn't leave Liz out to dry like that), so the two continued on with their work, eagerly awaiting class to end.

As Double Potions always did, it dragged on forever, but the girls managed to avoid having to start over again—or at least, for the time being, as class, thankfully, ended right before Snape could finish his last rounds to their table to criticize them any more.

Lunch was met with more, not-at-all-subtle comments from the Gryffindor third-years about Quidditch try-outs later that day, to which Alice responded with more snarky retorts and reassurances that should everyone fail miserably and Gryffindor have no hopes of forming a complete team then she would try out herself.

"Why're you afraid of flying?" Liz asked as they sat waiting for Charms class to start.

"My dad and uncle died in a plane crash," Alice responded readily.

"Yeah, but," Liz paused and thought for a moment. "You don't seem the type to be afraid of something because of that. I'd sooner expect you to purposefully fly all you can to dare the sky to try to take you." Liz glanced over at Alice to see if she had stepped too far, but Alice just nodded. She didn't respond at first, trying to decide how much to tell her new best friend.

"Ordinarily, I'd say yeah. I'd do exactly that. Except…" she paused, deciding to just dive into it. "I felt it."

Liz looked at her curiously. Alice didn't need for her to voice her skepticism, so she sighed and tried to explain what she had never told anyone, aside from Jason. "It happened in the middle of the night, and I… I dreamt it… as it happened it turns out. It was like I was there with them. That never-ending feeling of falling…" Alice trailed off, shivering. Liz didn't say anything, so Alice figured she thought she was crazy.

"I nearly drowned once. Still don't like the ocean," Liz stated matter-of-fact. "I mean I didn't die, or lose someone else, but…I think I get it."

Alice didn't look over at her, but she smiled. Her friend didn't question it, or push further, just let it stand. She had never told anyone but her brother because she hadn't wanted the look of pity or disbelief. People would make a big deal about it, force her to talk about it in therapy or something, but that wasn't the point— she wasn't afraid of flying because of her dad and uncle's crash, but because _she_ had experienced it. Which to her sounded worse, more selfish. Liz's calm acceptance and understanding was more than she had hoped for, and it felt good to have someone know the real reason.

The girls were silent as Flitwick went over the knock-back jinx, taking notes and paying close attention as he demonstrated on the chair at the front of class. He clapped his hands to let the kids start practicing on their own and it was then that Liz turned to Alice.

"Should we _accidentally_ knock over McLaggen's group or Lynch's cronies?" Liz proposed under her breath.

"Why not both?" Alice replied with a grin.

The Flipendo charm was simple enough and the two girls had it within minutes. Others were getting it down too, but hadn't quite mastered it yet. The girls continued to practice, but this was merely a cover for their staking out both the Gryffindor's and Slytherin's resident tool bags, more commonly known as Cormac McLaggen and Domnall Lynch.

Alice saw her chance with McLaggen when the boy jokingly tried to use the spell on his friend's bag. The girls didn't really notice if the bag actually moved from Cormac's spell or if it just got knocked by the stool's legs when Alice sent Cormac toppling backwards. They didn't really care though as they burst out laughing as Cormac took two of his friends down with him.

Flitwick hurriedly remedied the problem and then scolded Cormac for fooling around as Flitwick and everyone else believed it to have been Cormac's own spell that knocked him over. Alice and Liz were not rushing to correct anyone. Though Liz still wanted to get Domnall, especially after he started teasing Tallula (Slytherin) and Acton (Gryffindor) for sitting together, they couldn't risk getting caught. One moron knocking himself over was an accident, but two… Flitwick was head of Ravenclaw house, he would catch the pattern.

Though, as it turned out, they didn't need to topple the boy. Tallula took care of him herself. Flitwick, of course, saw who did it, but pretended as if he hadn't, letting the girl put her housemate in his place. The two boys were still complaining about bruises when the students filed out of class.

As they promised, Alice and Liz went down to the Quidditch pitch to watch try outs. After climbing the never-ending stairs up to the risers, the girls were surprised to find quite a few people already there. Apparently, rumor had spread that Oliver Wood was conducting try-outs shirtless, and Lee was proven right as that resulted in a large turn-out to try-outs, both people participating and spectating. When Oliver came out on the pitch fully clothed, there were quite a few disappointed noises and the stands cleared out a bit, giving Alice and Liz room to spread out.

They waved obnoxiously to the Gryffindor third-years, who waved just as obnoxiously back, and then to Katie Bell who was trying out for a Chaser position, though she didn't wave back nearly as obnoxiously being pretty nervous herself.

"Attention, everyone!" Oliver called out above the nervous mutterings and the Weasley twins' loud ramblings on the benefits and drawbacks of cupholders on brooms. "Apologies to anyone who's looking to try out for the Seeker position. McGonagall already gave the position to someone."

That garnered a few upset people and more curious questions.

"Can she do that?" Angelina asked.

"Who's our Seeker then?" Fred demanded.

"Well, she did. She saw Harry Potter at his Flying lessons and gave him the position. But if you'd still like to try out you could get a reserve position," Oliver explained. That simply turned all the chatter to talk about Harry Potter.

"Who is this kid that McGonagall just hands spots on the team to?" Alice demanded incredulously. "I know he defeated the Dark Lord, but that doesn't mean he's any good at Quidditch! My final flying lesson was rather remarkable but I didn't get a position right off the bat!"

"You don't want to play Quidditch," Liz reminded her.

"Well, that doesn't mean I wouldn't like the offer!" Alice retorted. Liz shook her head.

Oliver managed to reign in the crowd and profusely apologized to the Seeker-hopefuls. With that, try outs began and Oliver decided to thin out the pack a bit more by simply judging their flying abilities. Then their throwing and catching abilities. Then some other boring exercise that very nearly put Alice and Liz to sleep before try outs finally got interesting and they started playing.

"Yeah! Nice hit, Wesley!" Alice and Liz cheered, purposely calling the Weasley twins the wrong names just to mess with them. George just shook his head, but Fred flew by the stands with a cheeky smirk and a certain finger pointing up. "Guess Bread Wesley doesn't like the fame," Alice remarked mock-seriously.

"Some people just can't take it," Liz agreed.

There were a few hopeless cases, but there were plenty of students that played well so that no one was worried about not having a complete, talented team. All of the return players kept their positions, but Alicia made it on the team officially this time, and so did Katie Bell. Alice and Liz cheered especially loud for the two girls, warranting shy smiles from them both and mock-hurt looks from Fred and George (whom they had teasingly booed upon the announcement they were returning as Gryffindor's Beaters).

"And you guys were worried!" Alice scoffed as she and Liz walked back up to the castle with the third-years.

"We still have to see how our Seeker is," Angelina sighed.

"It always comes down to the Seeker for us, doesn't it?" Alicia remarked, shaking her head.

"I'm sure he'll be fine. McGonagall wouldn't go around Oliver like that for just any first-year on a broom," Liz tried to reassure everyone.

"Yeah, if she didn't give _me_ an automatic place on the team after my final flying lesson, then Potter has to be even more incredible!" Alice laughed.

"Is that jealousy I hear?" George teased.

"But you don't even want to be on the team!" Katie exclaimed.

"I'd still like the offer!" Alice retorted once again as everyone shook their heads.

* * *

Despite everyone assuring her that Professor Sprout was lovely, Alice was convinced that the woman was trying to murder her students.

"Though, if the plants kill us, then technically it wasn't Sprout that murdered us," Liz pointed out as the Gryffindors headed back towards the dormitories to wash and change before Transfiguration.

"With that logic, if I put poison in your dinner, then it was the poison that killed you, not me," Alice retorted.

"Point taken," Liz nodded.

"I mean, we're twelve year-olds! How can they think we're prepared enough to deal with dangerous magical plants! CPS should be banging down the doors of Hogwarts!" Alice exclaimed.

"What's CPS?" Liz asked, but no one heard as at the same time Thomas came over.

"These aren't even the really dangerous plants! My brother told me that greenhouse 2 is where they keep all the truly fatal plants," Thomas declared.

"How would your brother know that?" Alice demanded.

"He's in the NEWT level Herbology class and they have class in there," Thomas answered haughtily.

"But have you ever been in there? How do you know he's not messing with you?" Alice challenged.

"I haven't been in the greenhouse but I've seen the plants he studies and they're vicious!" Thomas retorted defensively.

"I'm sure they are," Alice remarked sarcastically before turning to the original issue. "Does Britain not have child safety laws?"

"Well, technically they're all adults," Thomas explained. Alice shook her head. The magical world was cool and all, but sometimes it was just ridiculous how little they seemed to care about safety. Although maybe that was just this school. I mean, you clearly didn't need any waivers or permission slips or even try-outs to play murder ball.

"He's the youngest Seeker in a century," Alice began loudly as McGonagall paced down the aisles observing the students' work. "I know I broke records with my final flying test and I wasn't approached, so he must have been absolutely incredible!"

If McGonagall noticed, she didn't take the bait and continued along. Alice glared after her, completely ignoring her beetle that was making a desperate bid for freedom. Liz saw the escape in progress and waved her wand at the beetle, turning it into a button which rattled on the desk.

"Why are you talking about Potter?" Liz questioned.

"I'm trying to find out why McGonagall thought Potter so brilliant as to make him Seeker but didn't even consider me!" Alice seethed.

"Again, you don't even want to play Quidditch. But anyway, you know you could just ask her," Liz offered rationally. Alice looked at her as if this was a truly novel idea.

"You know what, I think I will," Alice said and shot her hand up. Liz hastily grabbed Alice's arm and yanked it back down.

"Not in the middle of class! After," she whispered. Alice nodded, seeing the logic.

The girls devolved into random discussions as transforming beetles into buttons and back again had ceased being even the slightest bit difficult last class. McGonagall let them be as they weren't distracting anyone else and she would run out of beetles if she kept giving them more work. By the time class had ended, every student had, if not completely mastered, at least gotten the hang of transfiguring living creatures into inanimate objects and back. While the other students rushed out to lunch, Alice stalked up to the professor while Liz waited by the door.

"McGonagall," Alice began. McGonagall raised a stern brow.

"Professor," she corrected Alice, but the girl waved it off.

"I proved myself an excellent flier in my final flying test, setting a new school record for it in fact!"

"I am aware," McGonagall replied tartly.

"Then why did you not ask me to be on the Quidditch team?" she demanded. McGonagall's face smoothed a bit. So that's what all her talk about Potter had been about.

"Miss Connen, I was aware of your flying test, but I was also aware of your history—"

"Okay, so I didn't start out great,"

"I was referring to the accident," McGonagall stopped her. Alice's mouth snapped shut.

"Oh."

"So I wasn't going to approach you or your brother about Quidditch unless you showed an interest in it," McGonagall finished cooly. Alice felt like an idiot.

"Oh, well… that was pretty decent of you," Alice admitted.

"I thought so," McGonagall's lips twitched, amused. "Though, if you are now interested I am sure we could arrange another try out, perhaps give you a reserve position—"

"No! No, that's alright!" Alice interrupted panicked.

"Are you sure? I can talk to Wood this afternoon," McGonagall continued, thoroughly enjoying it now.

"Nope. I'm sure! Thanks, professor. For clearing that up. I'll just be going now," Alice rambled as she bid a hasty retreat, dragging Liz after her. McGonagall smirked.

" _Why don't you ask her_?" Alice grumbled in imitation of Liz as the two girls headed for the Great Hall. "Stupid idea."

"How was that a stupid idea? You got an answer didn't you!" Liz challenged.

"Yeah, but now she thinks I'm interested in Quidditch!" Alice complained. Liz rolled her eyes.

"No, she doesn't," she scoffed.

"Alright, but if Wood tells me I've got a reserve spot on the team then I'm blaming you!" Alice retorted as they headed over to the Gryffindor table where two bright red mops of hair signaled the location of their third-year friends.

For once, they were all talking excitedly about the Quidditch team's chances this year and _not_ guilt tripping Alice for not trying out. It was a relief, but also left Alice out of the conversation as everyone else knew a lot about Quidditch. Even Liz was more involved as she got into a heated argument with Lee as Liz was a supporter of the Appleby Arrows while Lee was a fan of the Wimbourne Wasps, the two teams were evidently rivals.

"Wasps fans are so obnoxious! And the name even comes from a dirty trick—"

"Completely legal! They didn't send the bees after your Seeker!" Lee interrupted.

"So, these teams hate each other, like Alabama and Auburn," Alice remarked casually beneath the shouted argument.

"What now?" Fred asked.

"Alabama and Auburn, college football teams with an intense rivalry, like fans will get in fights or waiters will spit in your food if you root for the opposite team," Alice explained, but the twins didn't seem any less confused.

"Well they must not be any good, never heard of them," George said.

"What are you talking about, they're two of the best!" Alice retorted.

"Football teams?" George questioned.

"Yes! Football. With the quarterback that throws the ball and receivers catch it and run it in for a touchdown while everyone else tries to kill each other. Football," Alice explained condescendingly.

"Oh! American football," the twins sighed in understanding.

"Oh, yeah," Alice realized her mistake. "Forgot you guys call soccer football, which makes more sense to be honest, although I mean some might say the ball is shaped like a foot and they do kick it for field goals and punts but…" Alice trailed off.

Liz and Lee were still arguing when the girls had to leave for Defense Against the Dark Arts. Which proved to be uneventful, as always, unless you counted the bird flying into the window and scaring the crap out of Quirrell and a couple students sitting by said window.

"I miss Triggs," Alice sighed as the Gryffindors filed out of class.

"Me too," Liz agreed. "I mean, Quirrell knows his stuff, but he only teaches theory and defense against the dark arts is kind of supposed to be practical."

"Plus, he set a pixie on Cormac one time," Alice grinned. "That was funny."

The girls continued to reminisce on Triggs' class as they made their way out onto the grounds. They picked a spot under a tree near the lake to set up camp; Liz leaning against the trunk of the tree while Alice just flopped down in the shade on her back. They continued talking about random things: magical creatures, Italian vampire wars, the true function of a rubber duck, and what exactly a true Hufflepuff was anyway. It was quite peaceful until someone literally came over and flopped down on top of Alice.

After a brief 'whoof' of air being knocked from her body, she glanced down to find Fred Weasley using her stomach as a pillow.

"Great, it's you, and here we were having a pleasant, relaxing time," Alice commented sarcastically.

"Sounds awful," Lee said.

"Glad we could save you from such a dreadfully boring day," George grinned as he sat down on the grass.

Alice shoved Fred off of her and sat up.

"Can't you guys go join Thing 1 and 2 in bothering the giant squid?" Alice asked, nodding over to where Thomas and Cole were grabbing onto the giant squid's tentacles as it raised them up and then flung the boys out into the lake. They resurfaced, grinning madly, and swam right back over to do it again.

"Eventually the squid's just gonna flatten them," Liz shook her head.

"Nah, it enjoys stuff like that," Fred assured them.

"Keeps 'im young," George added.

"Do we even know if it's a boy or a girl?" Alice asked.

"I've never checked, but you're welcome to," Fred smirked. Alice couldn't find anything to throw at him, so she settled on flicking his ear.

"Did you hear? Your brother made the Ravenclaw team, Beater," Lee told Alice.

"Good for him," she answered. She was happy for him, but also a bit perturbed that he would be the one continuing the family athletic legacy… for another house.

"I'm sure we'll be able to handle him," Fred announced confidently.

"Ackers-Connen. Son and nephew to Matt and Alex Connen, one of the greatest pairs and one of the greatest Beaters of all time," Lee whispered dramatically.

"Who just learned how to play Quidditch last year," George whispered dramatically back.

"Doesn't matter, it's in his blood," Lee retorted.

"Such faith he has in us," Fred remarked dryly. Alice smirked.

"If only we had someone to counteract him…" Lee glanced hopefully over at Alice who, along with Fred and George looked shocked and offended.

"Try outs are over, and just this morning you were excited about our team," Alice countered.

"This again? And who would she be replacing?" George demanded.

"Probably you, George. You're arguably the better Beater—"

"Hey!" Fred exclaimed, insulted.

"But she and Fred have a better rapport," Lee answered honestly.

"Than us?" George exclaimed pointing to himself and his brother. "We're twins!"

"But look at them!" Lee pointed at Fred and Alice who were busy whispering and giggling to each other, glancing up only as everyone suddenly turned to look at them.

"What was that now?" Alice asked, having missed the last of the conversation.

Lee looked to George like 'I told you so' while George just rolled his eyes, grumbling under his breath, "Why am I always the one replaced? Everyone just wants me off the team so badly."

"What?" Alice demanded, not keen on being left out, even if it was only due to her not listening.

"They were just saying how observant you are," Liz smirked. Alice sat up straighter, flattered. Lee and George had to struggle to suppress their laughter.

"Flattery is appreciated but it won't convince me to play Quidditch, Lee," Alice remarked a bit haughtily.

"Can't blame a guy for trying," Lee just managed to keep the laughter out of his voice, but Alice didn't seem to notice.

That helped to change the subject and the group shortly got into a heated debate about what magical creatures would make the best pets. Alice was adamant that nothing would be cooler than a dragon, but Liz and George claimed that while dragons were awesome they wouldn't make very practical pets. Lee made the argument that a thestral would be the most fun because he could use it to play pranks on people who couldn't see it and no one really had an argument against this.

They stayed out on the grounds throughout the afternoon until dinner time, when the boys raced each other up to the castle while Alice and Liz gathered their things.

"They're such gentlemen," Liz remarked dryly as she slung her bag over her shoulder.

"Aren't they?" Alice smirked.

The girls headed up, going past the greenhouses when something burst through the glass right in front of them. Alice and Liz instinctively threw their hands up to shield their faces from shattered glass, before glancing up to see a huge dark red, spiky vine slithering back inside greenhouse 2. Alice and Liz looked to each other in shock and confusion before hearing a shout from inside the greenhouse.

Racing inside, the girls stopped in the doorway, amazed at the chaos inside. A venomous tentacula was thrashing vines everywhere— it had been the one that broke through the glass— searching out for the two boys who had apparently disturbed it. Thomas was currently struggling amidst the tendrils of a devil's snare while Cole kept shouting at him to quit struggling while he tried to cast a fire spell at it.

The venomous tentacula hit a spiky bush, causing it to shoot its spikes out all over the room, one catching Cole's arm just as he cast his fire-making spell and throwing off his aim so that instead of blasting the devil's snare tendril holding Thomas, it caught the boy's sleeve on fire.

"Aguamenti!" Liz shouted, dousing the flames before Thomas could even react to being set on fire by his friend. Cole turned, surprised by her spell, clutching his arm which was sliced and bleeding from the spiky bush. Liz's quick thinking jolted Alice into action as well who shot a blast of fire at the vine holding Thomas, causing it to shrivel in pain and release its hold on the boy, unceremoniously dropping him to the floor with a thud. Liz rushed over to check on him and help him to his feet.

"Are you all—" Liz's sentence was cut off with a cry as a venomous tentacula curled a vine around her ankle and yanked her off her feet.

"Liz!" Alice cried out, surging after her friend. She grabbed Liz's hand and pulled, trying to drag her away from the venomous tentacula's jaws.

"Diffindo!" Thomas yelled, slicing the vine through and releasing the girl. Shaky, Liz was helped to her feet by Alice.

"Thanks," she told Thomas. But it couldn't be that easy. The vine that Thomas had cut flailed in agony and struck a nearby bubotuber, bursting several of its swellings which sprayed their pus all over the kids. They tried to rush out of the way but were trapped between the venomous tentacula feeling around for something to teeth on, the devil's snare which was expanding in the absence of fire, and a snargaluff tree which wasn't attacking yet but could at any moment.

"Incendio!" Cole shot a fire towards the creeping devil's snare, making it shrink back and leaving a path for the others to duck through. Unfortunately, the spiky bush seemed to sense the fire, which really wasn't anywhere near it but apparently close enough to think it was under attack again, so it shot more spikes out everywhere. The kids tried to dodge them but couldn't escape getting hit by a few as they raced out the door.

To end up directly in front of Professor Sprout.

"What happened here?" she demanded, though not quite as angry as she probably should have been. Which may have had something to do with the state of the kids. Thomas was soaking wet, his sleeve charred, breathing hard and limping from being dropped several feet. Liz was covered in dirt, her hair a mess with a few twigs and leaves in it, and had lost her shoe in the struggle with the venomous tentacula. They were all cut up from the spiky bush, but Cole had taken the worst of it with cuts all over turning his clothes into tatters and had a bruise on his face that had to have happened before the girls got there. Alice had fared the best, but her front was covered in dirt from diving for Liz and, oh look, there was a spike still stuck in her arm.

Alice casually pulled the spike out of her arm, leaving a hole in her shirt and causing blood to well up out of the puncture mark in her arm. Alice was a bit too shocked and curious to freak out over being impaled by a spike, so everyone else freaked out for her.

"What are you doing?"

"You don't pull it out!"

"You could bleed to death!"

"Vulnera Sanentur!" the last was said by Sprout, causing the hole in Alice's arm to seal up, the blood on her arm and clothes remained though. "You all need to get to the Hospital Wing. How did this even happen? You're not supposed to go in greenhouse 2! It's only for advanced courses and even then only for class, it's too dangerous! What were you thinking?"

"A vine burst out the window—"

"—got grabbed by devil's snare—"

"—heard screams—"

"—came out of nowhere!"

"All right, all right!" Sprout ordered over the kids who were all talking at once. "We'll sort this out after you all get sorted out. Now do I need to take you or do you know where—"

Before she could finish, Liz's eyes rolled back and she collapsed.

"What's wrong?"

"She fainted!"

"No look!" Cole pointed to the puncture marks on her ankle that looked suspiciously like bite marks. Sprout paled but immediately conjured up a stretcher and levitated Liz onto it.

"Did she happen to go near the venomous tentacula?" Sprout asked. Alice, Thomas, and Cole looked at each other in horror and that was all the answer Sprout needed. "Follow me and if you could, check yourself for bite marks."

Sprout rushed off, Liz's stretcher racing ahead of her, and Alice and the boys had to rush to keep up as they all panically felt all over themselves for any fatal bites.

"Thanks," Thomas muttered to Alice as they rushed after Sprout.

"What?" Alice asked, too focused on _Oh my god, my friend's going to die, she can't die, I can't make another best friend_ to realize what he was going on about.

"For saving us. Thanks."

"I'd say no problem, but I kind of got impaled and my best friend may die, so…" Alice retorted sharply. Thomas looked away ashamed and Alice softened her tone. "Just don't do it again. Or if you do, bring us with you from the start so we're prepared and can try to avoid disaster."

Thomas sort of smiled and Cole said "Deal!" and Alice realized she may have just made new friends. She just hoped she didn't also lose one.


	6. Poor Unfortunate Souls Don't Know Disney

Alice filed into the dungeon along with the other Gryffindors. They all sat down, two to a table, except for Alice. Thomas and Cole gave her a sympathetic look. Ravenclaws started entering the classroom and Alice scanned the crowd for a familiar mop of brown hair. She spotted her brother as he sat down at a table alone and she instantly rushed over to sit next to him.

"Uh, Alice, what are you doing?" Jason asked, looking at her in confusion.

"I'm sitting with you, what, is that not allowed? Am I not allowed to sit with my brother in Potions class?" Alice retorted and rolled her eyes. Jason hesitated.

"Well, um... Finn was actually gonna sit there," he said, indicating the seat Alice was currently taking up. Alice gaped at him.

"Are you telling me to move?" she demanded angrily. Jason rolled his eyes, preparing for her blow-up. "Well, where is this Finn? If he's supposed to be sitting here, then why isn't he here?"

"He's in the bathroom!" Jason answered snippily.

"Well, forgive me for wanting to sit with my brother in the only class we have together! I wouldn't have to but my best friend is in the hospital wing so it's not like I have anyone else to sit with!" Alice snapped.

"You know what? Fine! Sit here, it's fine," Jason grumbled. Finn entered and looked around for a seat but Jason caught his eye and gave his friend an apologetic look. Finn didn't seem too upset and found a seat with Henry.

"If everyone has finally seated we will begin," Snape drawled with a stern look over at Henry before turning to write on the board. Henry kind of shrunk down but Jason glared at the back of Snape's head and Alice stuck her tongue out.

Snape went over the final steps for their sleeping draughts and the consequences should they miss a step or do something wrong. Alice tried not to look too nervous and glanced over to Thomas and Cole. Thomas was paying rapt attention to Snape's instructions. Cole wasn't and gave Alice a hopeful shrug. Maybe she would do better today.

Cole was too optimistic.

"Alice! No, what are you doing?" Jason snapped, snatching the sopophorous beans from her before she could put them in the cauldron prematurely.

"I chopped them, now I'm putting them in," Alice retorted.

"They don't go in yet! Gah! How did Emily and Liz put up with this?" Jason complained. "Do you even read the directions?"

"I can't because Snape's handwriting is so awful!" Alice replied defensively.

"That explains a lot," Jason grumbled, rolling his eyes. "How did you even survive last year?"

Alice rolled her eyes and mimicked Jason when he turned back to his notes.

"I can see you," Jason grumbled. Alice stuck out her tongue.

"You see that?" she snapped.

"Yes."

Jason always knew how to take the fun out of her insults. But it had the desired effect, Alice was too busy grumbling to herself about him to bother with "helping" with the potion. Jason read his notes, glanced back up at the board to check he had the steps right, and then went to dicing the ingredients Alice had already chopped up. Alice rolled her eyes and huffed. Jason gathered up the diced beans and was about to drop them into the cauldron when Alice made a "hmm" noise. He stopped.

"What?" he asked a bit snippily.

"Oh, nothing, just… Thomas sliced the beans, not diced," Alice pointed out.

"So?" Jason retorted.

"So Thomas is the best in the class!" Alice explained, pointing over to where Snape was inspecting Thomas and Cole's finished Sleeping Draught and looking perturbed at how perfect it looked. Thomas sat back smugly.

"Don't disturb the others," Snape grumbled and walked off, indicating the boys were finished. Thomas and Cole immediately grinned conspiratorially and set to drawing something. Alice was a bit concerned at the mischievous glee on their faces and made a mental note to watch out for amateur pranks in the Common Room that night. Jason just shrugged it off.

"The instructions say diced," Jason was about to drop the beans in.

"No, they say sliced," Alice corrected before he could. Jason turned and glared at her.

"No."

"Yes," Alice patronized. "Now who can't read Snape's handwriting?"

Jason grumbled and threw his hand in the air. Snape came over.

"Yes, Mister Connen?" he asked, sounding as if he was put upon, instead of like this was the entire point of his job.

"Are the sopophorous beans supposed to be sliced or diced?" Jason asked.

"Sliced, as it so clearly says on the board," Snape drawled, irritated, and left.

Alice smiled smugly.

"Thanks a lot, now he thinks I'm a moron!" Jason whispered angrily.

"He thinks we're all morons," Alice contested but Jason didn't hear her.

"He thinks your boyfriend's damn bloody perfect," he grumbled darkly. Alice ignored the comment but Jason could be nasty when he was mad. "Maybe if you helped me instead of oggling him we could actually finish this potion."

That was it. Alice had tried to help and he had shut her down. Now it was her fault he couldn't read directions?

"I can't believe you would treat me this way, knowing my best friend is in the Hospital Wing!" Alice exclaimed.

"She got stung by a bee!" Jason retorted.

"Have you ever been stung by a bee, Jason? Those things hurt! And people can die from them if they have an allergic reaction!" Alice shot back.

"But she's not allergic," Jason continued.

"You don't know that!"

"I do! You told me already that she's not!" Jason shouted.

"Is there a problem here?" Snape's angry voice cut between their shouting as he loomed over them.

"No," the twins grumbled in unison, refusing to look at each other or Snape. Snape glared at them.

"No, _sir_ ," he corrected. The twins both turned to look him dead in the eye, matching his glare.

"No, _sir_ ," they both repeated caustically. Snape was infuriated but swept away.

Somehow it got even worse after that. The twins didn't even talk to each other while they continued working on the potion, which is probably how they both put in essence of nettle, doubling the amount needed and causing the potion to erupt like a volcano. They both stood stock still, dripping potion, murderous looks on their faces. Snape chewed them out, they got in a shouting match with each other, vowing to never work together in class again, and then the bell rang and they both stomped out of class and away from each other as fast as they could.

Thomas and Cole caught up with Alice— she had gotten caught in a trick step on the staircase— and helped extricate and guide her back the right way to their next class.

"Wow, that was…" Thomas trailed off, shaking his head.

"The worst thing ever. If Liz ever misses another Potions class I'm sitting with you guys, I don't even care if it's supposed to be two to a table," Alice declared.

"Or Cole could sit somewhere else," Thomas offered.

"No!" Cole exclaimed, offended. Thomas glared at him and gave him a look like "work with me here."

"You're a nice guy, you can befriend whoever you sit next to," Thomas assured him.

"Yeah, I'm fine with that!" Alice added excitedly (of the fact that she would get to work with the best potion-maker in class).

"Nope. Not gonna happen," Cole said stubbornly.

"Well, fine, you two can sit together and I'll sit with some random person!" Thomas snapped.

"NO!" Cole and Alice shouted in unison before gathering control of themselves once more.

When they walked into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, Liz was already sitting there waiting for them.

"Liz! Pomfrey fix you up already?" Alice asked.

"Yeah, it was really quick. Only took a couple of minutes, I could've made it to Potions but I just didn't want to," Liz laughed.

Alice lunged but the boys quickly grabbed her to hold her back. Liz flinched more out of surprise than fear. Alice rolled her eyes, assuring the boys she wasn't going to murder her best friend, and sat down next to Liz.

"That bad?" Liz chuckled. Alice gave her a _look_.

"At least it wasn't a double block," Cole explained ruefully as he and Thomas sat on the other side of Liz.

"Or there would be one less Connen at this school," Thomas added but then paused in thought. "Not sure which would've won to be honest."

Liz laughed. "I'll try not to miss another Potions class," she reassured Alice. "Or at least, I'll take you with me." That cheered Alice up considerably.

Professor Quirrell stepped up to the board and began class in his quavering voice. Alice, Liz, Cole, and Thomas simultaneously rolled their eyes. It probably wasn't even halfway through class that all four looked like they would die of boredom. Alice glanced over to Liz.

"Are the bite marks still there? You could pretend you got bit by a Venomous Tentacula again," Alice offered as a chance to escape the torturously dull class— which honestly probably wasn't as bad as they were making it out to be, but in comparison to Triggs' class last year it certainly seemed like it. Liz glared at her.

"I wasn't pretending. My white blood cell count got too low," Liz retorted defensively. "You all were the ones who assumed I was dying from a Venomous Tentacula bite."

"Venomous Tentacula bite, Fanged Geranium bite, simple mistake," Alice waved it off.

"Fatal bite, not-fatal bite," Liz weighed her hands sarcastically.

"Hey, at least it made you find out you were anemic," Thomas offered helpfully.

"Yeah, so now we know not to bring you on dangerous missions where you could pass out from bloodloss," Alice nodded. Liz looked at her shocked.

"When would that be a problem?" Liz demanded.

"Werewolf invasion," Thomas suggested.

"Vampire wars," Alice smirked.

"Escaping a dungeon, cutting your way through a forest of thorns, then battling a dragon-witch," Cole remarked casually. Alice grinned over at him while Liz and Thomas looked confused.

"What?" Thomas demanded.

"Sleeping Beauty," Alice clarified.

Except, it didn't seem to clarify anything at all.

"Disney's Sleeping Beauty? Three fairies? Once upon a dream? Maleficent? Any of this ringing a bell?" Alice asked. Liz and Thomas continued to look at them like they were speaking gibberish.

"This knee?" Thomas questioned.

Alice and Cole gasped as if the question pained them. So loudly that they drew the attention of the rest of the class. They didn't even care though.

"M-m-miss Connen, Mister Pa-arks? Is there a p-p-problem?" Quirrell stuttered.

"Yes, professor, there is a p-p-problem!" Alice exclaimed. Cole didn't give Quirrell a chance to rebuke Alice for mimicking him.

"They don't know what Disney is!" Cole pointed at Thomas and Liz accusingly.

When the rest of the class, aside from a few other Muggle-borns, looked back at them with the same blank look, Alice's and Cole's jaws dropped.

"If you four could p-p-please p-pay attention," Quirrell scolded and then continued his lesson. Alice and Cole were dismayed.

"These children don't know about Disney!" Alice whispered to Cole, still not quite believing it.

"These poor unfortunate souls. Something must be done," Cole agreed solemnly.

Alice nodded, and, in the middle of class, stood up, sliding her chair out with a screech. Thomas squeaked in protest as she yanked him up by the back of his robes and sat herself down in his seat beside Cole. Thomas looked down at her in shock, glancing up to the professor who just shrugged at him. With a huff, he went over to slide into Alice's abandoned seat on the other side of Liz. Alice and Cole immediately set to drawing out plans, throwing out nonsense words like "VCR" and "Pinocchio" for the rest of class.

* * *

"The real challenge will be getting the TV and VCR to work inside of Hogwarts," Cole stated as the group left History of Magic along with the throng of other Gryffindors.

"What do you mean?" Alice asked, confused.

"Muggle technology doesn't work inside of Hogwarts," Liz supplied, jumping on the first thing she understood in their conversation.

"That's ridiculous, of course it does!" Alice scoffed.

Liz, Cole, and Thomas looked at her speculatively. Alice rolled her eyes.

"Do the toilets work?" she asked. They nodded. "How about radios? Record players?" They shrugged. "All of those are Muggle inventions. Why should they work in Hogwarts but not a television?"

Liz and Thomas looked at each other like their entire life was a lie.

"I bet they have one for Muggle Studies," Cole told Alice, and both their faces split into identical mischievous grins that made Liz and Thomas a bit nervous at what they had just unleashed on the world. Alice and Cole bolted off down the hall.

"See you at dinner!" Alice shouted back behind her.

Liz threw her hands up in exasperation. She looked over to Thomas who pursed his lips in thought, looking around a bit at a loss.

"So… what do we do now?" he asked. Liz sighed.

* * *

Students heard their shoes slapping against the stone floors long before Alice and Cole came into sight, speeding down the halls, which luckily gave students time to scamper out of the way and look off after them curiously.

"Huh," Angelina said thoughtfully after watching the two race by. Alicia turned to her. "I pegged Thomas as the one she'd get into trouble with."

"Who's in trouble with who now?" George asked as he and Fred came up behind the girls. Alicia slapped a hand to her racing heart and turned to swat the closest twin for startling her like that.

"Alice and Cole just went pelting down the hall," Angelina explained.

"What?" Fred nearly choked.

"I thought we were the ones she caused trouble with?" George exclaimed in mock hurt.

"And off she runs with another lad," Fred tisked, shaking his head sadly.

"I never expected a betrayal from her," George agreed. Angelina rolled her eyes, gaining George's attention. "Always thought it'd be you," he pointed to her. Angelina laughed and swatted his hand away.

* * *

Alice and Cole were out of breath by the time they made it to the Muggle Studies classroom. It wasn't until they got there that they realized they hadn't thought about if there was a class currently in the room. Cole turned the knob and opened the door into an empty room, making them both sigh in relief and breath shortage (they had not been looking forward to the possibility of having run all that way for nothing).

They entered into the room, Alice closing the door softly behind them, and looked around. There were Muggle toys and devices all along tables and inside cabinets. Alice got excited upon finding a yo-yo and proceeded to show off all the tricks she knew to Cole before he shook his head as if clearing it.

"We have to find a TV. Focus." He walked off to continue looking. Alice looked disappointed but set the yo-yo back down and trailed after him.

"What about in here?" Cole asked upon coming to a door at the back of the room marked 'Closet.' He tried the door handle but it was locked. Alice smirked at that and stepped forward.

"Step aside. I got this," she announced. Plucking a hair pin from her head, her bangs tumbled down into her face and she bent down to eye-level with the keyhole. After a moment of fiddling with the hair pin in the lock, there was a slight 'click!' and she straightened back up, grinning. She threw open the door like a game show host revealing the top prize.

There stood an AV cart with a big, boxy tv set sitting on top and a VCR sitting on one of the shelves. The two kids looked at it like a ray of light was shining down on it from the heavens. After a moment of awestruck staring, they regathered themselves and ducked into the closet.

There was also a shelf full of VHSs of every genre and they instantly set to scanning the rows for Disney movies.

"Cinderella is the only princess movie they have?" Alice asked no one in particular in outrage.

"They have the Reluctant Dragon and Fun and Fancy Free but not Melody Time?" Cole questioned in a similar tone.

"They have Peter Pan! Oh thank goodness," Alice gasped.

"And 101 Dalmatians," Cole discovered. "And The Brave Little Toaster!"

"I love that movie!" Alice rushed over to where Cole had pulled the case from the shelf. He opened it only to reveal a documentary tape on the history of kitchen electronics. They both groaned in disappointment and Cole shoved the case back onto the shelf. They turned from the shelf.

"Oh well, I guess it's a good start," Cole sighed.

"We can always bring our own tapes back after break," Alice suggested and Cole nodded. Setting up on either side, the two wheeled the cart out of the closet and into the classroom.

"All right, now where's an outlet?" Alice asked as the two looked around the room. After a quick spin didn't reveal anything, the two began to look around a bit more hastily until it got to the point that they were dragging tables away from the walls, ducking down under cabinets, looking inside built-in cabinets.

"Nothing. Not a single outlet in the room," Cole announced disappointedly having returned, dusty and brushing off cobwebs, from the depths of the AV closet.

"Then how do they watch the videos?" Alice demanded angrily and kicked at the desk… and immediately regretted it. As she hopped on one foot, holding her aching one, Cole shrugged.

"Maybe there's some sort of spell, or maybe they don't watch any of the tapes because they don't know how to work the TV and VCR," he commented mournfully. "We can ask around," he shrugged. "Maybe we can find someone who's taking Muggle Studies and they'll know."

"I guess," Alice said but she didn't sound convinced. "It's almost dinner time, let's go."

Their feet dragged as they made their way down to the Great Hall. Finding Liz and Thomas who were already seated at the table, they flopped down on the benches beside them.

"So, no luck?" Liz asked. The glum looks on both their faces was all the answer she needed, and the only answer they were apparently willing to offer.

"I just don't understand. Why have a TV set and no outlets?" Alice complained for about the hundredth time throughout dinner. Liz and Thomas merely shrugged, not having the energy to continue the debate.

"It's magically modified," Lee stated as he sat down next to Alice. Fred, George, Alicia, and Angelina following suit.

"Is that what you were up to earlier?" George asked. Alice ignored him, instead spinning on Lee.

"You're taking Muggle Studies? Then how does it get power?" she demanded.

"The professor does some sort of spell that starts it up," Lee replied, a bit taken aback by Alice's intensity.

"Do you know the spell?" Cole asked.

"Not really, no," Lee answered.

"Then what use are you?" Alice scoffed.

"She doesn't mean that," her friends apologized for her.

"You could probably find a book on it in the library," Angelina offered.

"I hate research!" Alice complained. The others smirked and shook their heads.


	7. Fire Up the Vision Box

Fred and George barreled into the library, causing every studying student to watch nervously as they passed. The Weasley twins were rarely quiet or studious so they didn't tend to hang out in the library, so most people assumed they were forced or up to something when they did go in. But as it so happened, the twins frequented the library—how else were they supposed to research new spells for pranks? Their masterpieces didn't just happen on accident, they took some work.

They were heading for the section on 'flammability and flame-proofing,' but upon passing the section for 'interacting with Muggle technology' Fred swatted at George's arm and stopped him. Alice, Cole, and Liz were circled around a table with piles of books, dozing. Cole was using the open book in front of him as a pillow, Liz was curled up in her armchair like a cat, and Alice was propping her head in her hand with a stack of books as additional support.

With identical mischievous looks, Fred and George crept over to the table. George grabbed a book off the closest pile, a rather weighty textbook titled _Sockets and Forks: The Defensive Features of Muggle Electronics and How to Disarm Them._ With a grin to his brother, George raised it high above his head, and then let it fall to the table with a loud THWAP that garnered shushes from surrounding studiers.

Cole jolted upright like he'd been electrocuted, looking around in confusion. Liz startled and began stretching herself out of her tight ball. Alice just flicked her eyes open with the most lazy, put upon glare fixed straight up at the Weasley twins. The most surprising bit though was the loud THUMP that came from under the table and probably did more to wake the others than the book and made the Weasley twins jump. Thomas emerged from under the table, groaning and holding his head, his eyes blinking the sleep away blearily.

"Bloody hell! What were you doin' under the table?" George demanded. Thomas glared up at him as he crawled back into his seat.

"'S comfier than these slabs," he said, wincing as he sat down on the hard wooden chair.

"What are you lot doin' in here at this hour?" Fred asked, dragging up a chair next to Alice and sitting on it backwards.

"What do you think?" Liz asked with a pointed look at Alice and a gesture at the books spread out before them, all on incorporating Muggle technology into the magical world.

"Haven't figured out how to get the TV working, then?" George grinned. The four second-years all gave him a most murderous glare. He chuckled and exchanged a grin with Fred.

"Bloody research that we won't even be graded for," Thomas grumbled.

"It will greatly improve your lives, though," Cole assured them.

"Yeah, you'll thank us in the long run," Alice agreed.

"If we ever find the bloody spell," Thomas pointed out grumpily. "These books are all so dull!"

"Why don't you ask a professor?" Fred suggested with a shrug. And was immediately turned on by four twelve year-olds.

" _Ask a professor_? Really?"

"That's your advice?"

"That's rich coming from you two!"

Fred and George were insulted.

"We ask Flitwick about charms all the time!" Fred retorted.

"Yeah, unguided targeting is a complicated bit essential to many of our pranks. We never would've figured it out without Flitwick pointing us in the right direction," George defended.

"It's not brave to avoid asking for help, it's stupid," Fred added.

"They're the professor of their subject for a reason, they know what they're doing better than us, they've been doing it longer," George nodded.

Cole and Liz looked a bit abashed while Thomas rolled his eyes and Alice grimaced at the thought of asking a professor. She conceded their point though and huffed a large sigh.

"Well, who's the Muggle studies professor then?" she demanded.

Fred and George looked at each other and scrunched up their brows in thought.

"Burbank… Burberry?" Fred tossed out. "How're we supposed to know we don't bloody well take the class?"

"Burbage?" George suggested uncertainly. Fred snapped confidently and nodded.

"That sounds right! Burbage! Go ask Burbage," he told the gang and got up from his seat as George followed. Thomas groaned dramatically and slid down out of his chair back onto the floor. Alice rolled her eyes but looked to Cole and Liz for confirmation on the change in plans.

"Thomas, get off the floor!" Liz snapped as the group gathered their things and began to leave. Thomas grumbled as he got to his feet and pretended like he wasn't rushing to catch up with them.

It took forever to find Professor Burbage. Thomas and Liz didn't know where the Muggle Studies classroom even was, while Alice and Cole had paid so little attention in their breakneck race over to it the first time that they weren't entirely sure where it was either or how to get to it from their current location. After several wrong turns that led them to dead end corridors and trick doors and a brief argument with a portrait over what floor the class was even on, they finally came across Peeves filling up water balloons at a water fountain and he gave them directions (surprisingly the correct directions—he and Alice still had a deal worked out between them). Professor Burbage actually turned out to be a nice and helpful lady that showed them the spell she used to power up electronics. However, despite practicing for hours, no one in the group could quite get it down. Thomas declared the whole endeavor a failure and Alice and Cole agreed to cut their losses for the day though silently agreed to continue working on it at a later point in time.

The next day at breakfast, Alice and Cole were singing an adapted version of "I Wanna Be Like You" as an attempt to convince Thomas to rejoin their efforts when everyone's attention was diverted to the arrival of the post. Seven screech owls entered carrying a long package which was the focal point of everyone in the Great Hall.

"What'd ya suppose it is?" Thomas asked, admittedly when it was still quite far away. Nevertheless, when it came closer down Alice gave him a look.

"Gee, I wonder what could _possibly_ be in the _broom-shaped_ package?" she asked sarcastically.

"Two galleons it's a toaster," Liz joked, earning a grin from Alice. "Wonder who it's for?"

"Surprise, surprise," Cole muttered as the owls dropped the package right in front of Harry Potter. The hall erupted in whispers as Potter read the note attached and then dashed outside with the package still unwrapped.

"Potter! Is it a toaster?" Alice shouted after him to the appreciative chuckles of her friends. Turning back around, and with a nudge to Cole, she jumped right back into their rendition to convince Thomas. "You see it's troo-ooh-ooh, a wizard like you-ooh-ooh, can learn to love Di-isney too-oo-oo!"

"Cut it out!" Thomas exclaimed, standing up. The other three laughed and Cole threw a biscuit at him. Thomas sat back down, rolling his eyes but grinning. "If you figure it out, I will watch your sing-a-longs—"

"Movies, the sing-a-long versions are unnecessary," Cole interrupted to point out.

"Yeah, the bouncing ball gets really annoying, we all know the melody," Alice agreed and she and Cole nodded sagely.

"—but I am done doing research that's not graded!" Thomas finished.

"That's fair," Alice conceded.

So they stopped tormenting their friends with Disney songs—well, they stopped singing modified versions intended to guilt-trip them, but they still sang some of their favorites just for fun and partly to build interest in their friends who may complain that they shouldn't be singing in class ("You're at different tables for heaven's sake!") but Cole caught Thomas tapping his foot and Liz was heard quietly humming "Part of your World" on the way to Charms. Alice and Cole were thus even more determined to figuring out the magic to work the electronics. Though their attempts so far had been… discouraging to say the least.

The two were in an empty classroom and had been for quite some time. Liz and Thomas had been with them at the start but Thomas grew bored after a few minutes and though Liz lasted longer she too left them to their fool's errand after an hour or two of no progress. Cole was lounging desultorily in a chair, leg up on the desk, twirling his wand and drawling the spell that was supposed to turn on the VCR with hardly a breath between repetitions. Alice was stood, squared off with the TV, like she was in an intense duel with a more skilled opponent.

"Accenderet visione archa!" Alice shouted angrily and swung her wand like a sword at the television.

The screen remained black and unresponsive.

Turning angrily she demanded of Cole, "Am I pronouncing it right? It's ah-sen-DARE-it right?"

He shrugged, interrupting his stream of "Expergiscere buxum comedenti"s.

"Either that or ah-SEN-dur-it," he suggested with a long-suffering sigh. Alice screamed in frustration. Cole managed to plug his ears in time—he'd learned rather quickly that Alice could achieve volumes and pitches otherwise un-accessed in the natural world.

"Oi! Is someone gettin' murdered in here?"

The two jumped and spun around. They'd been alone in this empty classroom for who knew how long without seeing another soul and were thus understandably startled at the sound of another living voice that did not belong to either of them. Upon seeing who it was, the two second-years weren't sure if they were relieved or not.

"Oh, Alice, that explains it," Lee chuckled. He and the Weasley twins stood in the doorway, looking highly amused.

"I'd ask how working that telly is coming, but—" Fred smirked as he leaned against the doorframe.

"I think all of Scotland knows it's not going well," George finished.

Alice scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"What are y'all doing here? Don't you have your own tricks to get up to," she demanded.

"It's dinner," Lee answered, having to suppress a chuckle at "y'all."

"Yeah, and the other half of your merry band looked lost. We thought we'd do the right thing and reunite you all," Fred answered, straightening and strolling into the room.

"How considerate," Alice said sweetly sarcastic.

"It's already dinner time?" Cole whined but paused and thought a moment. "What's on the menu?" he asked curiously.

"Shepherd's pie, ham, sweet potatoes, Brussels sprouts," George listed off those he could remember. Cole wrinkled his nose.

"Eh, nothing appealing enough to move," he decided.

"You can't bloody well starve yourselves," Lee declared.

"We can get late night snacks from the kitchen," Alice waved him off.

"Well, if we can't convince you to come with us, do you need any help?" Fred offered.

Alice suddenly turned on Lee, beaming.

"You take Muggle Studies!" she shouted, startling Lee. "How does Burbage pronounce it? Ah-SEN-dur-it or ah-sen-DARE-it?"

"I don't know? Maybe the first one?" Lee shrunk at the ferocity of her questions.

"Dammit! I've been saying it wrong the whole time!" and with a spin back towards the TV she rang out triumphantly "Ah-SEN-dur-it visione archa!"

The screen was still black.

George clapped. "Wow, that was amazing!" he remarked sarcastically. "How you just made it not do anything. Impressive!"

Alice growled and surged at him but Fred grabbed her and held her back. The boys all laughed, even as Fred struggled to restrain the girl that was surging and kicking for his brother. Once she calmed down he set her back down on her feet.

"Lee, do you know how to do it?" Cole asked.

"No, I don't think you even start working on it until the upper levels of the course," Lee replied truthfully.

"Could you try? You've at least seen it done properly enough," Cole suggested.

Lee shrugged and gave it a whirl.

"Accenderet visione archa!" he commanded and flourished his wand.

The screen remained black.

Lee shrugged. Cole sighed. Alice dropped her head onto a table with a THUD and muffled "Ow."

"Well, we gave it a shot, let's go eat," Fred attempted but Alice and Cole were not to be deterred (and they weren't super hungry because they had snagged a few extra snacks from lunch that they had eaten just an hour or so ago).

"Back to the library!" Alice announced, striking a pose, arm raised high and pointing onwards. Cole nodded and the two sped out of the classroom, leaving the third-years to look after them perplexed. But upon second thought, the three boys had shown similar dogged determination on certain inventions, so they had to admire the two second-years.

* * *

Alice and Cole were dragging as they entered the kitchens—partly from exhaustion, partly from dejection. They had spent hours in the library looking up different spells. They had found that the spells Professor Burbage used were quite specific and advanced, so they had tried to find more general and introductory spells that could achieve similar results. There wasn't much to go on, but Cole had found one, recognizing a word from one of the advanced spells. However, _Accenderet ad Machinamentum_ had not proven effective either—though Alice had managed to make the VCR spark… that's where they decided it was probably best to call it quits before it exploded.

"Up plotting trickses, Miss Alice? Who is your friend?" Pilly, one of the house-elf cooks that had taken to nurturing the girl's particular appetite, greeted as she led the two to a table that appeared in the middle of the kitchen.

"No, Pilly, we were working on a spell," Alice answered. "Oh, and this is my friend Cole," she added belatedly, too tired to catch both questions at the same time.

"Nice to meet you, Pilly," Cole offered his hand.

Pilly looked up at him with wide eyes before breaking into an embarrassed grin. She vigorously shook Cole's hand with both of hers before rushing off to get them food. Cole looked around in bemused wonder as the house-elves bustled about washing dishes, cleaning the counters, preparing tomorrow's menu, etc.

"Wow, how long have you known about this place?" Cole asked.

"Fred and George showed it to me first year. Pretty great, right?" Alice grinned as Pilly brought them a pot of potato soup and a loaf of bread. Two bowls appeared at a snap of Pilly's fingers in front of Alice and Cole.

"Yeah!" Cole breathed as the aroma from the soup wafted up to them. A large soup ladle portioned out to each of their bowls. Alice ripped off a hunk of bread and dipped it into her bowl, sighing pleasantly as she chewed and swallowed. Cole nearly burned his tongue on the hot soup, but it was worth it.

"Good timing you have, Miss and Mista, we was just 'bout to head up to rooms," Pilly said as she guided a floating plate of assorted leftover desserts onto the table.

"Rooms?" Cole questioned.

"Your rooms! To clean!" Pilly answered excitedly.

"You clean our rooms?" Cole was astonished. Alice smirked.

"While students sleep," Pilly confirmed, nodding and smiling.

"How else do you think it gets so tidy?" Alice teased. Cole paused, dumbfounded. He then looked up at Alice grinning.

"Elves come and clean our rooms while we sleep! If I try to tell my parents that, they'll think I'm making fun of them," he laughed.

The two polished off nearly all of the soup, but there was just enough left for when Fred and George burst in about fifteen minutes later.

"No success?" Fred asked, ripping off a hunk of bread.

Alice and Cole just glared at him as he and George smirked.

"Don't sweat it, kids! You ran into something you're not quite up to yet, happens to the best of us sometimes," George said.

"Not _us_ us— other people," Fred clarified with a grin.

"So then this spell should be no problem for you two," Cole teased.

"What kind of mentors would we be if we just solved all your problems for you?" George asked, mock offended.

Alice tossed a bit of bread into his bowl, splashing soup onto his shirt.

"Oi!" George exclaimed.

"Oh, Mista Weezy! Must be careful!" Pilly admonished, sending a napkin to wipe at the spots. Alice, Cole, and Fred laughed while George glared at them, grinning.

"Now, we actually came to propose something to you two," Fred said to the second-years. Cole and Alice glanced to each other warily as Fred and George explained their latest harebrained scheme.

"Purple?" Cole repeated dumbfounded. Alice was silent whether out of shock, awe, or consideration no one was really sure. "You want to dye Snape's hair purple?"

"It's tricky business, but that's why we're seeking other minds for input," George explained.

"Or scapegoats," Alice accused grimly. Fred and George looked legitimately insulted.

"How can you imagine we would do that to you?" Fred demanded, his voice cracking slightly.

"Lee, maybe… probably Lee, but we would be up front about it, he'd know going in. But never you!" George agreed a bit more light-heartedly.

"Where is he anyway?" Alice asked.

"Has to get his beauty sleep," Fred teased.

"He should add a few more hours then," Alice chuckled. When Fred and George laughed though she swatted Fred's arm. "Why are y'all laughing, he's still the prettiest out of you three!" Once the teasing died down a bit they returned to business.

"How do you expect two second-years to help you guys?" Cole asked, still a bit suspicious—they had been talking about not using Alice as a scapegoat and so he was a bit worried that he was still fair game as the fall-guy.

"It's not about experience," Fred began.

"It's about a different perspective," George continued.

"New ideas and approaches," Fred finished.

"I mean, you managed to sneak into the Slytherin common room," George pointed out of Alice who worked hard not to blush.

"How, we have no idea, we've been trying for years…" Fred added, with a leading tone indicating they would be eternally grateful to be let in on the secret but Alice wasn't going to divulge—she still planned on using her invisibility jacket to play pranks on them, and them knowing about it would kind of defeat the purpose.

"So what you're saying is you admire my skills and need them," Alice summed it all up with a slight smirk. Fred and George glanced at each other before sighing in unison but didn't deign to give her a response.

"So I'm just the bystander," Cole muttered. Fred and George tried to refute it, but couldn't.

"We don't know of your exploits but are open to ideas from all areas," George covered smoothly.

"But don't need _all_ , so don't go tellin' the whole castle," Fred added hastily with a laugh.

"He and Thomas did manage to sneak into greenhouse two," Alice pointed out in favor of her friend. Fred and George were actually impressed, Professor Sprout watched that place like a hawk and getting past her was no easy feat. Cole waved it off.

"I can get you in," Alice proposed hesitantly.

"Excellent!" Fred exclaimed.

"Might we ask as to methods?" George tried.

"No," Alice grinned.

"Now to figure out the spellwork," Fred said.

"We've done color-changing, but only on the subject directly," George explained.

"Got to figure out how to transfer it from another object, or do it non-verbally but that's too advanced," Fred thought out loud.

"Why don't you just switch out his shampoo with hair dye?" Cole pointed out. Alice nodded approvingly while Fred and George looked at him, shocked.

"What?"

"Put purple hair dye in his shampoo bottle," Cole explained further, a bit confused by their confusion. Alice managed to save the day.

"Muggles change their hair color with a treatment—it's like liquid dye that stains the hair or adds on, I'm not sure exactly the science behind it, but yeah," she explained to the dumbfounded wizards. "Pretty simple prank actually, I've pulled it on my brother loads of times. They made him wear a hat on picture day to hide the green hair but you can see it poking through on the sides," she remarked fondly.

The twins were still a bit mystified by the concept, and how simple it now made all their plans. It raised Cole in their eyes and they treated him with great esteem, which was a bit disconcerting to the boy. Especially because it was such a simple trick, as Alice had said, that he had felt stupid for suggesting it.

The four managed to polish off nearly all the leftover food from supper and even some food whipped up for them right then and there by the house-elves that treated them as if they were starving waifs that'd never had a decent meal their entire lives. Debating the particulars of the twins plot and developing new ones, the four talked and joked for over an hour. When they were leaving, Alice had to drag Cole away from his discussion-approaching-argument with Pilly and a few other house-elves wherein he was trying to convince them that they needn't worry themselves with tidying up after him, he was more than capable of doing it himself, they didn't need any extra work and honestly shouldn't keep after the other students either. This was near blasphemy to the house-elves who adamantly refused, taking insult thinking Cole thought they were not up to the work, and they assured him that they could clean up after thousands upon thousands of the dirtiest personages without breaking a sweat. Cole was complaining about labor laws all the way up to the common room.

"Plus it teaches us kids that we needn't be responsible for looking after ourselves! It doesn't prepare us for the real world and could give a sense of entitlement!" he argued.

"Must explain the Slytherins," Fred commented with a smirk.

They managed to placate Cole enough to let him go up to his room, but Alice suspected this would become a future concern brought up before the rest of their friends and possibly the entire house. She wouldn't be surprised to find banners in the hallways calling for the emancipation of all house-elves and Cole standing on the corner handing out informational flyers and forcing Thomas to hand out pins of Rosie the Riveter in witch robes.

* * *

They spent the entire rest of the week working on the spells for the TV and VCR. Cole managed to get the screen of the TV to blink for a split second but there also came a loud pop and they were a bit worried they had blown a fuse in the picture box. The library was no help as they couldn't find any other spells that produced the effects they were looking for. Jason didn't seem to realize the importance of the mission and couldn't be bothered to leave his friends to help his twin. The third-years just managed to distract them from further research.

Angelina suggested they ask Oliver Wood or Percy Weasley which was actually helpful. Only, when Alice walked right up to Oliver she noticed his muscles seemed bigger up close and his eyes were quite a pretty color, and her voice firmly stuck in her throat and she just stood gaping, unable to force any intelligible sounds out. Cole rescued her but discovered that Oliver had dropped Muggle Studies—he had found four electives and captaining the quidditch team to be a handful last semester, but so far three was perfectly manageable. Muggle Studies was the one elective Percy hadn't taken, because it had conflicted with Arithmancy, so no luck there either.

Alice and Cole were defeated. Slogging back from the empty classroom where they'd been practicing spells, hardly able to keep their eyes open, they tried to get back to the common room as quickly as possible but they were so tired they kept losing track of where they were. The only luck they'd had was that they hadn't run into Filch or Mrs. Norris in their zombie-like wanderings after hours.

"Parks," Alice muttered a warning as Cole drifted to the side. She reached out to drag him back so he wouldn't run into the wall but his sleeve slipped from her grasp. It seemed her fingers were too exhausted to be able to grip anything at this point. "Cole!" she whispered as loud as she dared.

Cole was dead to the world and didn't hear her and practically fell into the wall, which did manage to jolt him awake. Alice helped him to his feet and they continued on, only to realize that somewhere along the way they'd taken a wrong turn and had wound up on the seventh floor. The tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy looked increasingly attractive as a pillow or blanket or something to the two students; they desperately wanted a bed, or maybe just a pile of pillows. A working TV and VCR would be great too, so they could fall asleep to Cinderella or Pinocchio.

"Stairway that way," Cole mumbled, walking towards one end of the corridor.

"No, there's a shortcut this way," Alice said, grabbing him and leading him back down the other direction. Cole flapped his sleeve out of her grasp.

"But Gryffindor tower's on that side," Cole headed back down the opposite way, Alice stomped her foot in exhausted frustration before stumbling after him.

"But the shortcut ends up on that side! Come on, I just want to get to my bed," Alice moaned. When Cole didn't respond she worried he had fallen asleep again. Angry that he had fallen asleep and left her to guide them back on her own but also impressed that he could fall asleep standing, Alice stepped back, ready to swing at him. A good punch would wake him up.

Only Cole hadn't fallen asleep standing, though he thought so for a moment as he had to be dreaming, or at least his tired mind was playing tricks on him. Because he was pretty sure there had not been a door there a second ago. When Alice stepped back, she noticed his eyes open, and the focus of his gaze. She was absolutely certain there had not been a door there a second ago.

Because what else do you do when a door magically appears in a magic castle, they stepped forward and opened it.

You'd think there would've been a thud heard from their jaws dropping to the floor.

The door opened up onto a large room, only they couldn't tell quite how large because the layers and arcs of blankets and sheets stretched over thin air to form the ultimate blanket fort blocked the view to the opposite wall. Pillows. Pillows everywhere, of all sizes and degrees of plushness covering the floor inside the fort. But most beautiful of all was the television with VCR and stereo system, all with power cords leading off out of sight (they were plugged into wall outlets but the blankets effectively hid these from view).

Alice wasn't entirely sure if she had fallen or had thrown herself onto the pillows. Regardless she found herself on a layer of pillows, curling up in a large fuzzy blanket, grabbing a remote that she found within the layers of pillows and blankets and sleeping bags. Cole had joined her, probably under the same mysterious circumstances, and was completely zipped up in a sleeping bag with only his face showing so that he looked like a burrito, or maybe a caterpillar. She hesitantly pressed the power button and miraculously the TV screen blinked on, showing a paused scene of _The Brave Little Toaster_. Grinning like idiots, they unpaused the movie and curled up excitedly.

They must've fallen asleep at some point because they woke to the fuzzy gray screen and static of the movie having ended. Cole got up to either turn it off or rewind the tape, only to discover a stack of movie cases. Their faces were absolutely beaming as they found all of their favorites, all thoughts of sleep vanishing from their minds.

* * *

Something LEAPT on top of Thomas, startling him so bad he flailed, got tangled in his blankets, and fell out of bed. A large shadow hovered over him, stifling giggles. After shaking the grogginess, Thomas managed to separate the large shadow blob into its three constituent parts. Alice and Cole looked down on him with large, almost creepy smiles while Liz was still rubbing at her eyes.

"What the bloody hell?" Thomas grumbled, staying quiet so as not to wake the other boys in the dorm. "How'd you girls get in here?" They ignored his questions and dragged him to his feet, just whispering "Come on!"

Liz and Thomas, in their PJs, trailed after the practically skipping Alice and Cole who were still in their normal clothes.

"Why did you drag us out of bed?" Thomas asked for about the thirtieth time.

"What time even is it? We're gonna get caught," Liz mumbled irritatedly.

"Just wait!" was all the response they got for a while.

Alice and Cole finally stopped in a corridor, facing an empty wall.

"I don't understand," Cole muttered aghast.

"Did you guys fall asleep working on spells?" Thomas asked a bit mockingly.

"And share some weird dream?" Liz tagged on.

"No! We were awake! I know we were!" Alice contested.

"Yeah, I don't know the plot of _Brave Little Toaster_ well enough to dream about it," Cole confirmed.

"Then where's the door?" Alice nearly shouted and all her friends descended on her, clapping their hands over her mouth.

"Are you trying to get us all detention?" Thomas whispered angrily.

"I don't understand!" Alice whispered once they released her.

"Maybe it's time-sensitive," Cole suggested.

"What, like the door only appears at 1:13 in the night?" Alice asked. Cole shrugged and they both sighed.

"Soooo… can we go back to bed now?" Liz yawned. Thomas was already on his way back down the corridor.

* * *

The mysteriously appearing and disappearing door was the main topic of the next day. Alice and Cole were adamant they had not dreamed up the experience while Liz and Thomas brushed them off.

"Fake doors appear and move all the time here, why is this now a big issue?" Liz sighed.

"Entire rooms don't just disappear though!" Alice exclaimed.

Thomas muttered something to Liz that Alice couldn't hear but she could guess as they both suppressed grins. Alice chucked a bagel at Thomas, forcing him to hastily try to dodge or deflect it, but it hit and bounced off the side of his head. Alice ignored the looks the Gryffindor Quidditch team was giving her and sulked for the rest of lunch.

Liz and Thomas managed to coax them outside to join a pick-up game of quidditch on the grounds. The group was mostly lower classmen but was a good mix from each of the four houses and from various experience levels. Interestingly, the teams weren't divided by houses, but there was a pattern appearing in the other regard.

"Hey! How do you have three players that are all on their house's teams and we only have one?" Thomas demanded of the other captain, a Ravenclaw third year and chaser on the house team, Roger Davies. Roger's team included Katie Bell and Miles Bletchley, Slytherin's Keeper, while the other team, captained by Hufflepuff's chaser Ainsley Barneston, had no other members from house teams. Roger glanced at the other team's line-up and shrugged.

"It's not my fault Ainsley didn't pick any."

Thomas glared as the Ravenclaw turned his back and gathered his team. Liz gave Thomas a sympathetic shrug but couldn't hide the slight grin at joining the superior team's huddle. One of her teammates glared back at Thomas.

"Oi! Ease off, you've got a Connen on your team!"

Alice's head spun around like a whip.

"Who's got a what now?" she demanded angrily. "I am the referee!" she then turned on her friends. "You said I could be the referee!"

Cole and Thomas shrunk away from her ferocity, but Ainsley assured her she was the referee. Otherwise, the teams would be uneven and it'd be a bit unfair to have three beaters. Though Thomas grumbled that it would even the odds considering they had three "professionals" on their team so they could likely dodge well enough.

While Thomas was right and Roger Davies' team won—Liz rubbed it in their faces, putting an arm around each of the boys and singing a victory song as they headed up to the castle— it wasn't a complete blowout. Ainsley may have been the only "real" Quidditch player, as Thomas dubbed, but the rest of her team was made up of mostly wizard-raised students who had been playing since they could sit a broom, and a few Muggle-borns that nevertheless were quite talented. It ended up being sort of evened out as, aside from the three who played for their house's teams, the rest of Roger's team was mostly Muggle-borns who weren't very good at the sport. Though they didn't lack enthusiasm; one of the girls swung at a bludger so hard that her bat went along with it and hit one of Ainsley's chasers on the back of the head, to whom Alice awarded a penalty shot.

Alice, Thomas, Cole, and Liz joined Fred, George, Lee, Angelina, and Alicia for dinner. Alice had to fend off the third-years when they heard they had just finished a quidditch game. She loudly protested, "I was the ref! The ref!" as they gave her a hard time about refusing to try out for the Gryffindor team. Once the group was finished, they all headed up to the Common Room together, where Alice tormented her friends with a snap bracelet, slapping their wrists with it constantly, especially Thomas who got so sick of it—his wrist was quite red at that point—that he stood up from the floor and yelled "STOP!" right in Alice's face. To which she responded by slapping his wrist with the bracelet once more. Cole made an excuse that he had forgotten to get a book from the library, so as to avoid Alice's spree, and disappeared for a while. Fred and George became enamored with the snap bracelet, asking Alice all about how it worked, to which she had no response—"I just buy and use the stuff, I don't know the science behind everything!"—and they set about to designing some magical prank object that utilized a similar effect, but everyone was too nervous to ask exactly what it was or what it would do.

The twins were lost to their planning and the others started in on homework they had been putting off until the last possible second. Alice worked on some of the homework she had been neglecting in her working on Hogwarts' electronic situation, but everyone else started going to bed and Alice wasn't quite ready yet. She went up to the dormitory after the other girls were already in bed and grabbed her invisibility jacket and snuck down to the seventh floor corridor. She was planning to sit in front of where the door should be, thinking up how to get it to reappear again, so she was quite surprised to find that Cole had beaten her to it.

"Hey," Cole acknowledged as Alice plopped down next to him with a sigh—his focus on the door so intense he hadn't even noticed her seemingly appearing out of nowhere as she took her jacket off.

"Had any breakthroughs?" Alice asked.

"Not yet. I've been trying to go over everything we did last night, but I can't remember doing anything in particular that would've unlocked some secret door," Cole replied morosely.

"Well, then let's just re-enact it," Alice announced, hopping to her feet and dragging Cole up after her, down the corridor and around the corner. "All right, so we were walking this way," Alice suited her actions to her words, Cole dragging along behind her. "You were falling asleep and ran into that wall," she said pointing.

When Cole didn't move, Alice turned to look at him expectantly. Cole looked at her incredulously.

"You ran into that wall," Alice repeated, pointing.

Cole continued his silent protest, but after a few silent appeals and shrugs and reciprocal glares Alice gave him a fierce look that brooked no arguments. With a put-upon sigh, Cole walked over to the wall Alice was indicating. He gave her a look asking "Are you happy now?"

"You _ran into_ that wall and then fell down," Alice commanded. Cole rolled his eyes and stepped into the wall and then half-fell, half-sat down. Alice helped him up and then looked around, remembering. "Then we turned down the corridor and passed the tapestry." Alice practically sprinted to the other end of the corridor, Cole following behind at a more lagging pace. "Then I said we should take the shortcut," she added and went back the other way, passing Cole who had barely made it past the tapestry. Cole threw up his hands and let them fall, spinning and following her again, desperate for a Disney movie that would convince him not to strangle his friend.

"And then you said Gryffindor tower was on the opposite side of the castle," Alice continued once Cole had reached her position, starting back off down the other end of the corridor, eliciting another groan from Cole. Once Alice had reached the other end of the corridor, she turned, expecting the door to be there again. Walking back, disappointed, she looked at the empty wall. Cole joined her after coming back from the third pass-by.

And suddenly the door appeared, seeming to push its way through the wall to the forefront. Both kids were shocked motionless. After neither moved, the door sunk back into the wall and disappeared. The corridor was silent for a moment, that is until Alice turned on Cole.

"Why did it only appear once you'd come back?" she demanded. Cole shrugged.

"Maybe both of us had to cross in front of it a few times—"

"three times," Alice interrupted.

"—and then come back to it," Cole finished.

Alice shook her head, pressing her lips together.

"That's dumb, why would it require two people? And it's not like we were really walking together this time. And why doesn't it appear when we're all moving between classes, people pass by it constantly!" Alice couldn't figure it out. So she put it to the test. Without any warning, she took up practically racing from one end of the corridor to the other, passing by Cole, who had sat back down on the floor, three times. Returning to the sitting Cole, and a still empty wall, Alice glared at both.

"You do it," she ordered, budging Cole up and taking his spot on the floor. Cole complained and moaned but stomped past the wall three times before coming back to Alice.

"There."

The wall was still empty.

Alice was chewing on the inside of her mouth, lost in thought. With a groan she got up and made them both walk together past the wall three times. Still nothing. Alice let out an explosive roar.

"What the hell _is_ it!" she shouted as Cole hastily shushed her and glanced around nervously. "What's the rule? The secret code? What are we missing? Why did it do it the first time?" she asked at a quieter volume. After a brief moment, Alice spun to Cole. "What were you thinking about?"

"How I want to knock a bludger at you. Not hurt you or anything, you could dodge it, but I guess just the action," Cole mused. Alice shook her head.

"No! I mean when it worked," she clarified.

"How I needed some Disney songs to keep me from strangling you," he answered readily. Alice snapped her fingers and immediately went back to pacing in front of the wall. Cole sighed and stared at her as she passed by once, twice.

"What are you doing?"

Alice just shushed him until she had completed her third pass. The wall once more appeared out of the wall. Cole gaped at her. Alice looked on the door proudly, hands on her hips.

"You have to think about it," she declared. "When you walk past, you have to think about what you want."

* * *

"Bloody hell, not aGAIN!" Thomas's grumble became a shout as he once more toppled out of bed after being ambushed by his friends. A few of the sleeping boys grumbled complaints and shushes at Thomas.

"We figured it out! Come on!" Alice and Cole barely managed to whisper they were bursting with excitement. They then dashed off, Liz trailing behind them shaking her head.

Thomas groaned, but then, poking his head up off the floor and realizing they had left him, he grinned to himself and, too tired to get back into bed, tried to get comfy on the floor to go back to sleep. Cole stomped back into the room and dragged Thomas by the foot with a yelp.

"Stop! Let go! Let go! I can walk, dammit!" Thomas cursed at him as his pajama shirt slid up to give him floor-burn on his belly. Cole dropped his foot and Thomas, in disarray, got to his feet. The others then dashed off grinning, even Liz getting a bit excited now. Thomas sighed and grumbled, "This better be bloody good."

* * *

It was. It was so worth it. Thomas and Liz, looking like kids on Christmas morning, stared in awe at the giant blanket/pillow fort room. They were absolutely mesmerized by the entertainment system and Thomas actually jumped when Alice turned on the TV, the screen going green with writing on it. Alice and Cole ushered their friends inside, practically having to guide them inside and to the pillows as Liz and Thomas turned and arced and craned their heads to take it all in.

The green screen with writing on it eventually turned to a blue screen where a white outline of a castle was revealed, a shooting star arcing over it. The blue screen with the castle faded to black after a few moments and Thomas thought the TV had stopped working and even turned to Cole to point out his concern when suddenly a light appeared on screen: a star. The image on the screen began moving like magic pictures, only it was drawn images and music could be heard coming from the speakers, and then a voice saying "All this has happened before…" while the images moved to reveal London and then move through the city to a house.

"Oh, Peter Pan, perfect choice!" Alice whispered while Cole nodded in agreement. The four friends snuggled down into the pillows, watching the screen with bright and eager faces.


End file.
